What It's Like Loving an Idiot

Fifty One || Freedom is Strong

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James's Point of View

As the room is silent and the slightly dimmed lights create an aura of realization, I feel sick. I feel that I've been so busy with all this other bullshit that I'm putting off the inevitable of getting yelled at by my girlfriend. Although, don't get me wrong, I'd rather her yell at me than break up with me because I'm terrified of that.

I called her a few hours ago, but she didn't pick up and I don't blame her either. After avoiding her calls, it would be a surprise for her to pick up mine. I need to talk to her, that's what I know for sure, even if she doesn't want to talk to me and I'm sure she doesn't. Maybe I can fix this... I don't know, but I'm hopeful. At this point I'll do anything. First things first is to get out of here, but I can't do that, not yet.

"This is seriously going to throw off your aim," Kamer says, a low grumble of laughter coming after.

Pretty well the moment I arrived, he hasn't stopped reminding me that all I can think about is getting Vena back. I don't get it because it doesn't make sense. I should be worried, I should want to do everything in my power to keep her, to get her to forgive me. I mean, I thought that that is what I needed to do.

It is. I'm not wrong.

I knew what I was doing when I left Kamer that night. I knew what I was choosing and Vena knows too. She knows that I chose my family over her and considering who my family entitles, she's going to be pretty pissed about that.

"Hurry up, they're waiting," Kamer urges me as he strides down the hall slightly faster.

This place has always seemed a bit weird to me. I don't even know what I would call it. Perhaps a fancy warehouse? No, there's too many different rooms and places, that wouldn't work. Most is made of steel, or other strong materials. Autumn tells me it's for safety, but smashing someone's head against titanium will much more likely kill them than a regular wall. I don't know, maybe she has too much faith in them. She does, that's why I'm stuck in this situation in the first place.

I'm strangely aware of the sound of our boots clunking against the hardwood floor. Kamer pulls open the door to the armory and my heart begins to beat faster, but it's not in a bad way. This adrenaline that I'm feeling isn't from fear, it's from the rush that I know comes next.

Kamer looks at me, a deadly smile present of his face. He loves this shit. I don't know if it's his love for weapons or what they can do. I prefer not to know the answer.

Around us stand about fifteen other men, most of them more muscular than me. I'm not jealous, just a bit intimidated by them. The ironic thing about this situation is that they're intimidated by me, but I'm not all that sure why. I'm sure by now they've figured out that I have some sort of relation to Autumn and maybe that's the source of the fear.

Around us, guns go off and knives knock against wood. I'm sure by now it's obvious that this is no quiet area, or safe for that matter.

Kamer stands by the door, waiting for the loudness to come to a halt. It only takes a minute. Apparently, he's good at authority, but if I randomly saw him on the street, I wouldn't think much of him, in fact, I probably wouldn't feel the fear to take a second glance.

"Today the loyalty tests begin. Each of you will go through a series of exercises to determine who is a traitor, who is the enemy," he announces, his loud voice booming through the huge room.

I look at the faces of the men, scanning their facial expressions. They don't look scared, they don't even look worried. I'd be worried if I were them, especially the traitors. With a plan so clear, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll catch every one of them.