Together by faith

Chapter 21.

I walked down the dark streets with only a sweater to keep my trembling body warm. I know I should have grabbed a jacket before I stormed out of Alexander's dorm, but at that moment, a jacket wasn't really on my mind. All I knew was that I had to leave the dorm before I started to cry in front of my own boyfriend. Damn, I'm so weak. I can't even survive one day without having a mental breakdown. Boyfriend material, right? Not really. It hurts my hurt to know that Alec got beaten up because of me and everything that people are saying about me. If I just had walked away when I still had the chance, nothing of this would have happened. I don't regret getting together with Alexander, but deep inside, I know that he deserves someone better. Someone who can treat him like the amazing human being he is. I'm a depressed mess. How am I supposed to take care and love him when I can't even take care and love myself? I don't know for how long I have been walking around, but when the rain started pouring down, I released that it was late at night. I checked my phone and saw that I had a couple of missed calls from Alexander along with some missed texts. God, he must be worried about me. I really wanted to go back to his dorm and hug my problems away, but it feels like I can't. If I'm going to be honest, I'm ashamed. What does Alec think about me? I mean, does he really care about me? I kept walking until I reached a dead-end and just as I was about to turn around, someone grabbed my arm from behind.
- Magnus, what a lovely surprise
Great, Camille. Why does she always have to show up when my life is at its worst?
- What do you want, Camille? I asked and sighed
- You should't be alone out here, Bane. Something terrible can happen, she answered and smiled that disgusting smile of hers that I hate
- More terrible than meeting you?
- You're extremely hot when you're mad, did you know that?
- That's hilarious because I do recall remembering that you called me ugly the last time I saw you down at Pandemonium, I answered
- It was just a joke, Magnus. Don't take everything I say so serious
- Leave me alone, Camille, I answered and tried to walk away from her but she pushed me up hard against the wall
- Why don't we have some fun first? You know, like the good old days, she said
- Please, let me go
- Yeah, and what will happen if I don't et you go? Will you try to kill yourself again? Maybe this time you will even succeed, Camille answered and laughed
- Shut up, I whispered and felt that annoying lump in my throat
- Oh Magnus, you're pathetic. Are you seriously going to cry?
- What do you want from me? We had a one nightstand, Camille. That doesn't mean that you can keep making my life a living hell, I said
- Don't you get it? I wanted more than a stupid one nightstand. I fell in love with you, all at once. It took one night and I was lost in your eyes, she answered
- I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same
- Not even after this? She answered and seconds later, her lips were on mine
I didn't know what to do. I felt angry and sad at the same time. I was sad because Camille has been a douche towards me ever since our one nightstand and I felt sad because it felt like I was betraying Alexander. What if he found out about this? He would never forgive me.
- Camille, stop, I said when I had pushed her away and discontinued our kiss
- Tell me the truth, Magnus. You want me, all of me
- No, I don't. I'm in love with someone else. It's never going to be you and I, so move on, I answered and walked past her. I couldn't do this. Not right now. All my feelings were chaos and it felt like I couldn't breathe. All I wanted was for my life to be normal. What did I do to piss of the higher powers? Why couldn't I get a happy life with loving parents? Why did I have to end up with a mother that killed herself and an abusive stepfather?
- YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THIS, MAGNUS BANE, Camille screamed
I ignored her and kept walking. I didn't know where I was supposed to go, but it didn't matter. My phone kept vibrating with texts messages from Alexander and the guilt started to eat me up from the inside. I'm hurting both of us at the same time, and at least one of us doesn't deserve it. God, I'm such a fucked up human. It was almost midnight and extremely cold outside. My whole body was shaking and no matter how much I felt embarrassed, I needed to get back to Alexander's dorm. It took me about 30 minutes to walk back and when I finally stood outside the dorm, it felt like I was going to pass out any minute. My head hurt like crazy and I couldn't get my trembling body parts under control. I knocked on the door and at first, I didn't think that Alec would open it but when the door swung open, I couldn't stop tears from escaping.
- Oh my god, Magnus? Alec said and before I even had the chance to answer him, he threw himself around me in a bone crushing hug
- I'm sorry, I whispered
- You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I should't have said what I said earlier tonight. Can you ever forgive me? Alec answered
- Y-yes just please hold me
- Magnus, you're freezing. We need to get you warm as fast as possible
I was just about to answer but it felt like I couldn't breathe. My body was so extremely cold and I don't think I ever been this exhausted.
- Dammit, Magnus. You need to stay awake, okay? Can you do that for me? Alexander said
He dragged me into the bathroom where he started filling the bathtub with water. I don't really remember what happened next, but somehow I ended up in the bathtub, soaked in hot water. At first, the heat from the water hurt like crazy, but after a couple of minutes, it felt amazing. Alec said on the edge of the bathtub and looked at me. I could sense that he was worried, but I totally understand that. I mean, if I hadn't gotten my body heat back in time, I would probably have died.
- Are you feeling better? Alec asked after a while of silence
- Yeah, thank you
- I can't believe you left without a jacket
- It was stupid of me, I answered
- Hey, it's okay. You're back in one piece and that's all that matters
- Maybe you're right
I sat in the bathtub for maybe 20 more minutes and thereafter, I got dressed in my pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. When I was done getting dressed, Alexander and I walked into his bedroom where we laid down beside each other.
- I'm so sorry for today. I don't ever want to fight with you again, Alec said
- I don't want to fight with you either, Alexander , I answered
- I love you, Magnus
- I love you too
Alec pressed his lips against mine and thereafter, I closed my eyes and fell asleep in the arms of the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Hey guys😊 How are you all? I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while but I have been out of ideas

I love you all so much and thanks for always supporting me❤️

STAY AWESOME

-Mathilda