Look Away, Ignore the Pain

Chapter 1: Background

~Kaitlynn’s Point of View~

I suppose I should give you a bit of a background before I begin telling you about myself, right?

Well, I have brown hair and blue eyes, just like my brother, Niall’s. He and Greg are my older brothers and I am… well… the youngest. I’m only 14, Niall is 16, and Greg is 22. My parents divorced when I was about 3, so I don’t remember any of the fights or Mum’s tears at all like Greg or Niall told me about. They both switched back and forth between Dad and Mum quite a lot, but I was always too young to even notice, so Dad would say “it’s your mum’s weekend” and drive me and my brothers to her home. Now Niall and I live with our dad, Bobby, and Greg already moved out to go to uni… I miss him so much, though. Niall and I don’t really get along that well. He always plays the guitar and sings and has his mates over. When I try to even say hello to any of them, he just acts like I’m the most annoying person in the world and then when I walk away, they all start laughing and I can hear him mumble stuff like “I swear, she’s so annoying!” I wish he knew it hurt me, but who am I going to tell? Dad? He wouldn’t do anything about it and Greg’s not even home. Anyways, that’s my life for now.

It was just another Wednesday in third year for me and fifth year for Niall. We were still in the same school, but it was almost like Niall didn’t even know me. Every time he’d walk by me in the hallways, he would just walk faster and laugh with his mates. I’ve gotten used to it by now and I just plug in my earphones and drop my head. I don’t have any mates, anyways, so it wouldn’t make a difference if I don’t talk to anyone. Not that I would usually talk to anyone at all…

“Horan, I told you not to use your mobile countless times!” Professor Kerry yelled at me in the hallway on my way to class.

“I’m sorry, sir.” I mumbled and took them out of my ears.

“Stay after school today.” He spat and walked away before I could object. Meanwhile, people started to huddle around the “scene” and laugh at me. I felt my cheeks burn and my stomach turn. I always hated crowds and I would always feel so ill around people I don’t know or just many people. It was ridiculous, actually, because I am 14 and I can’t even go to my own Nan’s house without hiding behind Dad until she invites us in and hugs me personally.

*Flashback*

“Oh for God’s sake, Kaitlynn, grow up!” Niall snorted when I grasped onto Greg’s shirt from behind him as we reached Nan’s door. The tears in my eyes started to become heavier and harder to control, so I tucked my head on Greg’s back. “God… and you’re supposed to be what? 12?” he snorted again impatiently and just kept at his meanness.

“Katy, this is a bit ridiculous, don’t you think? You’re 12 and been here many times before.” Dad said a bit impatiently himself, but still not as mean as Niall. I looked up a bit at Greg in hope that he doesn’t find me annoying like the two of them. He wasn’t annoyed. He just gave me an understanding smile and hugged my back with a comforting hand.

“It’s okay, Lynn.” He whispered to me. He always called me Lynn and I liked it. No one but Mum, Dad, and Greg has ever given me a nickname and they each had something else.

“My, my, Kaitlynn, are ye still scared of yeer own shadow?” Nan laughed and hugged me when the door opened.

*End of Flashback*

“Loser.” Some girl sneered at me, masking it as a cough.

“She’s such a freak.” Another commented. I pushed my way out of the crowd and into the classroom, thinking about how much I wanted to be home already. Greg was supposed to come home today from his uni and he said he would bring his girlfriend, Denise. Well, now it’ll be extra nerve-wrecking when you walk inside late and you’re the last one to get it and all eyes on you and… I thought to myself until I could already feel my lungs tightening and my head pounding.