Spring Day

Chapter 1

The cold late October air bit at Namjoon's cheeks as he sat on the park bench, head bent back so he could look up at the dark sky. Small stars were scattered around, but the city lights made them hard to see, he knew there was more up there that he just couldn't find because of the blinding motions of city people and their city lives. How were there so many lights? Even at night people were so alive, he wondered how, but quickly remembered that he too was alive, as much as he didn't feel like it right now. He was exhausted, struggling and slowly spiralling to rock bottom. His band mates knew it but he himself had seemed to skip over these small details and tried to carry on as normal, an act that was slowly destroying him. The God of destruction had finally began to destroy himself.

He looked down at his phone as the screen lit up and smiled. Here was his dose of happiness for the day, his one bright star amongst the blinding and blurry motion that was his own life.

'Hey,' he whispered into the phone, as he answered it. Cold air billowed from his mouth in an icy cloud in front of him.

'Hey,' you replied, breathlessly on the other end of the phone.

'Are you okay? You sound like you've been running?' He asked, concern lacing his voice.

'Yeah, I have,' you laugh on the other end of the phone. 'I was late leaving school and had to run so I didn't miss you.'

'You know I would of waited,' he replied, smiling so widely it reached his dimples, you were the only thing that had this effect on him at the moment, he couldn't remember the last time he had smiled without your help.

'I know,' you reply. 'How was your day? It's like 10 at night there now right? You best be getting enough sleep Namjoon!' Your assault of questions and scolding of his health habits made him smile again.

'My day was long, it's 10.30 and you know I don't sleep good anyway.' He said, leaning forward, elbows on his knees and looking out at the city scape. The view was beautiful he had to admit, but it made him miss you even more.

'I miss you,' He whispered into the phone.

'I miss you too, so much.' You replied. Your reply gave him chills down his spine but filled his heart with the most empty kind of sadness he had ever felt.

'Come home then,' Namjoon said softly. His words hurt your heart too, more then you could ever explain whilst half way across the world.

'You know I can't,' you replied, loosing the breath that you had just managed to replenish again at his heartbreaking request.

Namjoon saw the city lights begin to blur and he realised tears were filling his eyes. He could feel himself choking and he felt every emotion he hated. Sadness, anger, anxiety, fear and helpless, completely hopeless love. We're these conversations actually doing him any good? He spiralled down further and further after every one ended.

'Namjoon,' your soft whisper snapped him back to reality and he wiped his eyes on his coat sleeve.

'Sorry, I'm here,' he said, swallowing hard. The rest of your conversation consisted of inside jokes, memories of times together and sharing stories of your days. You lay on your bed, staring up at the whitewash ceiling and him, a million miles away, or at least that's how it felt, staring at the Seoul city scape.

'It's late Namjoon,' you said after nearly an hour of chatting. 'You need to go home and rest. The others need you at your best.' You always had to initiate the end of the conversation, he was going to wear himself out if he continued with this lack of sleep and you didn't want to be the reason for that.

'I know,' he sighed, sweeping his purple hair back with the hand that wasn't holding his phone. 'I'll call you tomorrow?'

'Of course, same time, same place?' You reply, warmly.

'Okay. I love you.' He said, the words stronger than any others in his vocabulary.

'I love you too Kim Namjoon.' You reply. Namjoon took the phone away from his ear and looked at the screen. The call screen slowly fades back to his background, a picture of you and him, in a happier time.

'Fuck!' He almost screams and throws his phone to the ground in front of him. He hears a sharp crack. 'Really?' He sighs and bends to pick it up but another hand gets to it before his. He looks up to see Tae.

'Come on hyung, I think it's time we got you home.'