Spring Day

Bonus Chapter

[A/N:] This is Chapter 11, written from Namjoon's POV! 

Namjoon sat in the dressing room, hands in his hair, staring down at the floor. This was not how he expected to feel about tonight. He expected to be excited to see you, excited to be able to perform in front of you for the first time. Instead he felt horribly nervous and sadness was flooding over him in waves. He sat up and bent his head back so he was looking at the ceiling. He needed to shake this off or he wasn't going to be able to put his feelings in their usual box at the back of his head and put on a smile for the fans. Put on a smile for you.

'I can't do this.' He whispered to himself.

'Sure you can,' Jin said and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. 'Tonight is no different from any other night.' Namjoon jumped slightly at his presence and then settled into the comfort that it also surprisingly brought.

'Everything is different.' Namjoon rolled his eyes to look over at Jin. Concern was written all over his hyungs face. 'Every single thing.'

Jin sighed heavily and sat in the chair opposite Namjoon. He looked around the room and then into Namjoon's sorrowful eyes.

'Go. I'll cover for you.' Jin whispered and Namjoon's eyes widened at the words he had spoke.

'What?' He asked, completely shocked by Jin's idea.

'Go see her. Just be quick and don't get caught or we'll both be in deep shit.'

Jin didn't need to tell him again. He stood, shot a quick thank you in his hyung's direction and ran out the door.

Before long he was stood in front of the stage, his hat pulled low and his mask high. But he could see you. You were right in front of him. He smiled affectionately at your actions and mannerisms, happy to see that your time apart hadn't changed you. His heart beat fast as he began to walk towards you.

He sat slowly on the seat next to you, amused by the fact you didn't notice. You always had been in your own little world and it was one of his favourite traits of yours.

He began to stretch out his hand to touch your shoulder but it suddenly felt wrong to touch you, like it would somehow break the spell, like somehow he would wake up from the dream of you being in front of him. He sat for a few more seconds, enjoying your moment of ignorance to his presence. A moment designed just for him.

'Hey,' He breathed gently, unsure of his own voice. He could feel cracks appearing it his vocals already, emotion taking hold of every fibre of his body.

As you turned and looked at him, beautiful eyes as wide as a deer in headlights, he fell for you all over again. For a moment he was completely breathless, shaken in the most pleasant of ways. How could one person effect another so completely?

'Namjoon?' Your shout brought panic to the forefront of his mind and he shot a quick glance around. Before scolding you with a laugh.

'Don't I even get a hug?' He smiled widely under his mask. Your arms were around him before his sentence was even over and suddenly he was home. He was home in a strange city that he had never been to because you were in his arms. Your warmth completed him so well and he knew more certainly then ever that you were the last piece of his puzzle.

'This may be the stupidest idea you have ever had but I'm glad you thought of it.' Your words were confirmed in his mind before you even spoke them. This was stupid and if he got caught there would be hell to pay. But isn't that what love is about? Staring in the face of danger and telling it that you have something to fight for and therefore you have nothing to fear.

The need to look at your face over took his need to hold you and he pulled you away from him. He took in every inch of you, and his eyes searched yours for the same love he had in his, it was there, loud and clear.

'That's the best thing about being an idol at a concert. The only place anyone expects to see you is on the stage.' He pointed to it and watched as you looked up at it but his eyes remained of you. He smiled affectionately as the absent gaze that often graced your face appeared. You were again enveloped comfortably in your own world and he felt incredibly happy that he was part of it.

His heart grew suddenly heavy as he remembered his promise to Jin. He was probably already cutting it close with time. He sighed. 'I'm really sorry, I have to go.' The words left his mouth full of regret. He hated leaving you at the best of times, he hated even more that this was goodbye for another 4 months. That amount of time felt suddenly like an eternity.

'K,' He felt your grip tighten on the front of his shirt and his heart ached more. You were anchoring him to you and he really didn't want you to stop but the sensible part of him was over taking the reckless, it had to. He kissed your forehead quickly and made to stand up, he knew this was best done quickly to make it as painless as possible. You however obviously felt differently because you didn't let go.

'Y/N, you have to let go.' The small laugh that escaped his lips was full of his true emotions and he couldn't hide them much longer.

'I don't want to.' You stood and hugged him tightly. 'I never want to let you go.' You words pierced his heart and rung through his whole body, agonising him in every way possible. Words failed him for a moment and all he could do was kiss the top of your head, breathing in your familiar smell.

'I don't want to either, but we have to.' He held your face in his hands and was shocked at the terrified and tearful look you had. Your body language, you words and even your eyes were begging him not to go. It wasn't breaking his heart, it was ripping it from his chest.

You let go of his shirt and whispered your final words to each other as he wiped the tears from your cheeks.

'I love you,' He whispered and he knew he would never speak more truthful words in all his life.

He turned on his heels and walked away quickly, suddenly overwhelmed by the situation. This hadn't just been a stupid idea because of being caught. It had been a stupid idea because now he missed you more then he ever had.

He was met by 6 pairs of anxious eyes as he reentered the dressing room. Jin was shifting uncomfortably in his seat but seemed to relax slightly as Namjoon entered the room.

'Well you cut that close! We go on in 5 minutes.' Yoongi scolded in the friendliest way possible.

'Sorry,' Namjoon whispered and headed over to the mirror to take of his hat and redo his hair.

'Smile, your going to see her again in a minute.' Jhope patted the leaders shoulder and smiled at him in the mirror. Namjoon looked up and saw through the mirror that they were all looking at him with the love only best friends share.

'BTS fighting?' Jungkook said as more of a question then a certain statement.

'BTS fighting, always.' Namjoon replied and smiled, a real smile because of his friends.

It took him an extra moment but the excitement of the concert began to over take Namjoon and he stepped comfortably into the other half of himself, Rap Monster.