Spring Day

Chapter 20

 'Together.' The words left Namjoon's lips with a smile but he was perfectly aware that he had just dodged a massive bullet. His heart still ached with the idea that leaving him had even crossed your mind. It ached more with the knowledge that he had been hurting you like this, and he hadn't even known.

He looked down at you now, a broken girl in his arms, clinging to him for all you were worth. Then he looked to the grave stone that the pair of you stood in parallel to.

How much had you honestly been hurting? Could he even really imagine? He knew that he couldn't.

You had lost your hero not too long ago, you had been away from the man you loved and you had been expected to throw yourself into a life in a place that you really didn't feel like you belonged. Namjoon had felt loss, he had felt pain from being away from you and he had felt a constant feeling of not belonging for the longest of times. Never, however, had these feelings all accumulated at once. He knew that if they had he wouldn't be strong enough to deal with them, so how you had been coping was beyond him. He was struck with a feeling of immense pride. Pride in you as a person. Pride in the fact that he was allowed to love someone like you, and even be loved in return.

'Shall we go?' You asked, swaying Namjoon from his thoughts and moving his heart even further as you looked up at him through long eyelashes.

'You go, I'll catch up with you in a minute.' He had barely made the decision as the words left his throat.

You looked at your fathers gravestone and smiled. 'Okay,' You breathed. 'Bye Dad.' You whispered and began to slowly walk away down the grassy path to home.

When you were out of sight Namjoon turned to the grave and studied the writing etched into it. The writing that held your fathers name. He bowed low and then bent down, squatting amongst the grass and flowers.

'Hi,' He breathed gently, fearing that raising his voice above a whisper would break the magic of the silence around him. 'Don't worry about her okay? I got this. I know I can make her happy. I won't let her hurt anymore, no matter what it takes. I wish we could of got to know each other better, but thank you for always supporting me. I'll love your daughter forever, I promise.' He suddenly felt like he was rambling and blushed slightly. He stood, bowed one last time and followed your path down the hill.

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You were surprised how naturally you and Namjoon fell back into normality, despite having nearly been broken apart only a few moments before. You were close to your apartment now and you could hear his heavy footsteps behind you. You turned and smiled as he waved to you.

'You okay?' He asked as he reached you. You nodded in reply and were suddenly struck with the idea that you should probably apologise for your actions. The fact that you had even thought of breaking this off was crazy to you at this point so you had no idea how he must feel.

'Namjoon, about before...' You paused and looked down at your shoes for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. 'I'm sorry. I was just...struggling.'

Namjoon put his finger under your chin and raised your head so your eyes met his. He moved forward and gently kissed you on the nose. An action that made you screw your eyes up and release a small giggle.

'It's okay. You've been struggling more then I knew. I'm sorry too.' He placed his arm around your shoulder and encouraged you to continue walking like that.

Soon you were outside your apartment and you suddenly remembered that Jae was inside.

'Erm....' You began.

'It's okay, Jin is in there too.' He said, almost as if he knew what you were about to say.

'Jin?' You asked, excitedly. It had been such a long time since you had seen the other six boys and you and Jin had always been close. You unlocked the door and pushed it open. Namjoon felt tense beside you, as if he was about to find something unpleasant.

The smells of delicious food hit you as soon as you stepped inside and you immediately recognised it as the smell of Jin's cooking. You looked up at Namjoon with a huge smile on your face.

You both entered the kitchen and were surprised to find Jae and Jin bustling around the small space. They spoke in broken English, struggling to understand each other but seemingly enjoying themselves.

'Jin!' You exclaimed excitedly and he immediately looked up from the vegetables he was chopping.

'Y/N!' He replied and dropped everything to come over and give you a quick hug. You exchanged a quick catch up in Korean, Jae's confused eyes watching you both, trying to make sense of any small detail. You quickly noticed and excused yourself from your conversation.

'Namjoon, this is Jae, a friend of mine from work. Jae this is my boyfriend, Namjoon. But I guess by the look your giving each other, you already know that.' You laced your hands together in front of you, nervously playing with your fingers but Namjoon took one of your hands in his and squeezed it tightly.

'We might of met before.' Jae said with a small laugh in his voice, a laugh that to you suggested no meaning behind his words. However the look Namjoon was giving him suggested to you that you were the only one missing the harsh edge to his tone.