Spring Day

Chapter 3

Namjoon headed to the roof of the dorms. As he opened the door the cold air hit him hard but it shifted the pain and anger from his heart and lungs and it was suddenly so much easier to breath. He shut the door behind him, slumped down on the floor and lent against it. He took his phone from him pocket and looked at the time. 10am. Which meant it would be 1am where you were. Was it selfish of him to need you in that moment? He looked up at the bright blue sky, pressed your speed dial and held the phone to you ear.

'Hello?' You groan sleepily as you answer on the 5th ring. Namjoon's heart skipped and for a few seconds all his anger and sadness left him completely, he knew that wasn't going to last for long though, it never did these days.

'Hey, it's me.' He replied.

'Namjoon?' He could hear the rising panic in your voice. Conversations without arrangement were a rare thing these days. 'Are you okay?'

'No,' he replied simply. 'Sorry, I shouldn't of woke you.' He rubbed his forehead, a sharp headache appearing at his temples.

'No, it's okay, don't worry. What's wrong?' You ask, the worry not yet leaving your voice.

'I need you, and your not here and I don't know how to deal with that.' He spoke bluntly, not sure how else to tell you the truth. 'I keep thinking that and then getting angry at myself, I'm so selfish to ask you to come home but I don't know how to breath without you here.'

You sigh on the other end of the phone, this is a conversation you both have regularly. 'It's not selfish, trust me if I could get on a plane right now I would. But you know I can't. What's happened? Why are you saying this now?'

'The boys are starting to wonder what's going on. I can't hide my feelings from them and I ... I'm just such an idiot. I was just so horrible to them.' Namjoon pushed himself off the floor and began to pace around the roof, restless.

'You can tell them Namjoon, it's okay. If it makes it easier just tell them. They need you Namjoon, as much as you need them. You need to learn to lean on them as much as they do you. You can't take all the burden yourself you know?'

'I know...yeah, I know that. I'll talk to them. Thank you. Go get some sleep okay? I'll be fine.'

'Okay, I'll speak to you later okay? And Namjoon...I miss you too.' Namjoon nodded as a reply, knowing you couldn't hear a nod and pulled the phone from his ear.

How could you know him so well, he wondered. You always said the words he needed to hear. He lent against the wall, looking out at the city. It was hard to believe this was the same city that he had been looking at last night. It was grey and noisy in the day. People were so busy, they never stopped to appreciate a moment. Maybe that's what Namjoon needed to start doing. He needed to live his life, not just sit and wait for you to come home, that's what you would want, and you had to come eventually right?

With a heavy sigh, he headed back to the dorm, ready to face the wrath of his 6 best friends.

He pushed the door open to hear laughter from the living room. He headed that way and found them all, watching some comedy drama they were into. He lent against the door frame and smiled at his friends. In that moment he realised it wasn't only you he needed, he needed those boys just as much, and they were right here, they had been along.

'Hyung!' Jimin shouted excitedly, first to see Namjoon and notice his smile. The others looked at him, and the eyes he expected to be full of anger were instead full of love and sympathy. Namjoon threw himself into his favourite arm chair, put his head back and closed his eyes.

'Her father is sick.' He said simply. 'She's not there just to finish the semester, he's really sick, and she's the only family he's got.' He continued and then raised his head to look at the others reaction. They were all gazing at him open mouthed. 'Sorry I was an idiot earlier. You know I like to have a plan for everything and I can't plan for this, I can't map my emotions and how things are going to effect me on any given day, so please just...put up with me okay. I'll get better, I promise.'

Jin moved to his side and hugged him. 'We don't need you to get better, not if your not ready. We just need you to talk to us. We're all here. Treat us like friends. You don't have to shoulder this alone okay?' Namjoon smiled at how similar his words were to yours.

'Namjoon, fighting!' Namjoon's beloved friends shouted and the 7 of them burst into laughter all together for the first time in forever.