Spring Day

Chapter 13

Your conversation with Namjoon ended up being short, he had a flight to catch and you had self pity to wallow in. His voice was thickly laced with concern for you by the end of your conversation and he made you promise to make some friends at work in the coming week so that you wouldn't be so alone anymore.

For now though, it was late on a Saturday night and you had no where else to be but home. You lay back on your bed and plugged yourself into your headphones.

Music surrounded you completely as you closed your eyes. His music. Music you had heard live for the first time a couple of hours ago. The beat sung through your veins and waves of small excitement pulsed through you every time his voice appeared in your head. It was as if he was singing just for you, and as long as you kept your eyes closed then you could kid yourself that he was lay right next to you.

You were suddenly thankful that you at least had this small piece of him. This small piece of him that was so beautiful and so pure. This part of him that lifted your mood and made you extremely emotional in the most mixed up of ways. This part of him that connected you to his crazy, wonderful world.

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Namjoon sat on the stage of the large stadium, his legs dangling over the edge, swinging rhythmically to a beat inside his head. He hummed quietly to himself, taking in the empty seats while he could. They would soon be filled with thousands of fans, fans all screaming his name and his friends names.

He had always been a thankful man and he had never once taken his life for granted. Everything he had ever wished for was coming true. Finally. He had spent his adolescence working himself ragged and finally they were all reaping the rewards. To perform in a stadium of this size was not something many people got to experience, especially not even in their home country.

But a terrifying realisation had become to occur to him lately. He would give all of this up for you. Every single part. Somewhere a long the line his one and only love had become you and how he felt about music paled in comparison to that. His life long love had been replaced in a way he had never thought possible.

He sighed heavily and lay back on the stage, staring up a the dark ceiling.

Your Birthday and the concert in your home town had happened a week ago now and he supposed the thought had been bothering him since then.

Music had always been his everything, his life line and his therapy. It wasn't just his job it was the thing he loved the most and he thought that nothing would ever compare to that. But then there was you.

He knew if you called him right there and then and asked him to come home that he would not have the strength to deny you. However he knew that he would have to find it. No matter how much he wanted to put you first he couldn't. No matter how much he didn't want to let you down, he also couldn't let his 6 best friends and hundreds of thousands of fans down.

He sighed again heavier this time and threw his hands in his hair.

The beat that had been plaguing his mind was beginning to irritate him alongside everything else. He knew it was the start of a new song forming but no words were coming to him to match the beat. This on top of everything else was really stressing him out.

He was suddenly aware of someone's presence close to him and sat up to find Tae sat next to him on the stage.

Tae was staring out at the empty seats, just like Namjoon had been not seconds earlier.

'It's weird isn't hyung...' He began, still staring away from Namjoon. 'Strange how so many people can love us and yet I still get so nervous before every show.' He turned to look at the leader as his last words fell from his lips.

'Yeah, I know what you mean.' Namjoon looked away from Tae's heavy stare, unable to hold the eye contact because of the waterfall of emotions flooding through him.

'One day this will all be gone you know? Fans won't scream our names forever. They won't sing every word of every song forever. They won't love us forever. But that's okay right? We'll be able to deal with that when they time comes, together.' Tae's words shocked Namjoon and he was struck not for the first time by how thoroughly Tae really thought about things.

Namjoon became faintly aware of the drowning silence of the arena, but for the first time he didn't have the words to reply to Tae. All he knew was that he felt incredibly ridiculous.

Mere moments ago he had been thinking about how easily it would be to give all this up, but Tae was right, that definitely would not be the case.

No matter how much he loved you he could never give this up. This was his life, this was him, this was his world. He loved this world and he loved you and those were two things that were just going to have to coincide, no matter how much they both fought against it.

'Thanks Tae.' Namjoon finally whispered, putting his arm around his shoulder and pulling him into a brotherly hug.

'Hmmm?' Tae looked up at his hyung who was now smiling, questioning his unexplained affection.

'Somehow you just said exactly what I needed to hear.'