All Over Again

Lemon.

"No, not again Harry" I whisper, turning around in bed to face him. He smirks at me, pulling me over to him.

"Please, just sing one more song" he says, the smell of beer filling my nose as he talks. My stomach turns, making me feel sick.

For the last half an hour he's been begging me to sing some of my songs to him, I have no idea why. And when he asked me to sing 'wildest dreams' again, for the third time. I gave up.

"No baby, go to sleep okay. It's two am and I'm tired. We've got a big day tomorrow" I coo, stroking his face, as his eyes flutter shut. He kisses the tip of my nose, smiling at me.

When his breathing evens out against my neck, and his light snores fill my ears, I sigh. Turning off the lamp and lying down with him.

It's Friday tomorrow. And today my parents and Harry's mum came round for dinner. Gemma and Liam turned up in the later evening. But Harry had been set on drinking. And I know why.

He's scared. He thinks it's not going to be his, and I knew, by the atmosphere and everyone tonight knew that. Even I know it.

It's harsh and not fair, but even the doctor said it's a small percentage that it could be his. I know it's Kyle's, I can feel that it's Kyle's. I love this baby but something is stopping me from giving it my all.

I don't notice when my eyes start to close and my body starts to fall limp. But the next thing I know is the sunlight warming up my bare legs and the harsh wind outside is violently hitting the window. Weird combination of weather today.

I open my eyes, to see Harry still asleep. I sit up, feeling tense and like I'm a tight ball of stress. I fall back down onto the pillows, and close my eyes. Wanting to feel light and free again.

"God, I don't feel okay" I jump when Harry speaks, his voice close to my ear. I turn my head over, leaning on my arm, staring at him.

"I'm tense" I whine, lifting my legs in the air for both of us to see, my long shirt falling down to my waist. Their getting whiter, less tanned. And I need to wax them.

"Get up, Baby" He says, as he stands I watch him. He walks over to the closet, grabbing some sweats and a shirt.

"Why?" I say, putting my legs down and sitting back up. He throws me some shorts for me to put on. He sends me a smile, grabbing my hand and leading me downstairs into the living room.

He puts on some relaxing music and lights some candles. I sit on the floor, watching him as he moves around the room.

"Okay, we're doing some meditating. What time is the appointment?" He asks, looking at his phone.

"One thirty" I say, he nods. Smiling at me as he sits down opposite me.

"We have just over an hour. This will only take twenty minutes or so. Okay, close your eyes and cross your legs. Place your hands on your knees" he says, I laugh, my head falling back against the couch.

"What? Just do it, I promise it will work"

"I heard sex works too" I say, watching him. His blank face falls, he laughs, opening his eyes.

"Yeah and I heard Gemma and Liam along with your parents wake up about ten minutes ago" he says, returning back to his meditating position.

I join him, surely this couldn't hurt. I let myself breathe, with my eyes shut. The smell of cinnamon and vanilla fill my nose and the calm, slow music makes me sway.

He's right. This works, I no longer feel tense, or like I could burst at any given moment. I feel light and free. I sit here, enjoying it as the minutes pass until the door opens.