if you really wanted to know

sleep

today i will be writing about naps

to start it off maybe i should add that
i just woke up from one

by the way it's halloween, i don't know if i wanna say happy halloween because personally i think that's pretty weird (don't ask?) but HEY i'm the great pumpkin

okay right now, it's 7:16pm
i would've napped longer but
i woke up because my throat hurt
and just about everything hurt
so it was a sign that i had to take
medicine again
yuck.

i think i'd like to go outside
because the cold is nice
but i don't want to seem insensitive to
the little children who might look
for candy
i might give them oreos

well up until now you're probably thinking—

"okay well she's not talking about naps as much now, she's just talking about halloween"

—and while you MAY be right
fret not, because as you know
i never really stay on one topic for long
i never really stay anywhere, for long

okay but anyways
i woke up to the bright light
glowing off my face from the t.v
that i forgot to turn off

and the sound of my father's voice
saying something
and i subconsciously got up and answered
and walked out of the room
but i don't remember what he said
or what i said

when i opened my eyes i was just there
standing up in the hallway
and it wasn't like sleepwalking
i mean i guess so but
i was half aware i was speaking and moving
but i was still asleep

because i got a new room
the set up is different
i can open this window
(there are two)
and can easily just slip out
onto the roof

the next time you're here i'd like to try
the next time you're here..
next time..
i'm getting ahead of myself
hoping for something that isn't written yet

we are the authors of our story
and i know
that you know
that we are some damn good authors

remember i told you that i—

"live for the angst"

—and how you always said the things you knew i'd like to hear

congratulations,
our story was one with more than enough angst
should i really be saying "was"
when talking about us, about you?
it makes me feel like i'm talking about you
past tense, which i am
but you still exist, so you are present tense
as well

truly though,
things have happened,
things are happening,
things will happen,
and it will go down in history

maybe not the kind of history
you learn about in school
that you kind of fall asleep in the middle of
and not the kind
that, that one creepy kid you know has to clear so much cause nasty

but the kind that's shared among
the selected few
our own little history—

—MAKE IT OR BREAK IT BAB(AAAAA)Y!!!!

sorry, it was just in my head

but yeah

my hearteu

you made it go bOom
you make it go bAm

yours truly

— janica ; 7:35pm

p.s here's what i was talking about

:)