of course I knew that I was this continuous disaster
and I fell apart many, many more nights than you ever knew of.
I was tearing apart at the seams,
keeping myself together with glue and tape and hello kitty band aids.
Often I struggled to keep it together,
often I cried enough tears to fill swimming pools.
Maybe to some, to most,
I was weak.
But, no I am simply someone who's world ended many times,
and it begins again in the morning.
I am okay.
It's okay.
I am ecstatic at the thought of how I'm going to make tomorrow a good day,
and not just for me, for someone who's world ended the night before,
or someone who's trying to find more glue and tape.
So often, I feel my unhappiness overwhelm me entirely,
but I really don't want that.
I've chosen to move on from all the times before, that left me shattered,
because frankly, I'm tired of being unhappy,
and yes, that may seem easier said than done
but I'm not watching myself get destroyed again.
I'm not saying that I won't have anymore setbacks but,
I am saying that it is not permanent.
Shocking that I out of all people have the audacity to say that,
but really, it's not permanent regardless of how long it's been going on.
But it is up to you, you take all the time you feel is necessary to heal, to think.
You're not obligated to do anything for me.
and I would rather see you happy, starting fresh, and letting go of the past,
rather than see you tending to wounds that you choose to open up, from long ago,
taking refuge with the night that numbs your sorrow.
