also today i will be writing about sushi i bet you're reading this and asking me through the phone—
"why, janica? why ever have you chosen to write about this, so-called, SUSHI?"
—good question, i don't know but i like to think my writing is an adventure or a journey whatever you wanna call it and we can go through it together
it's 7:47pm still halloween
i hope you've caught on by now that i'll introduce a topic but honestly i won't really talk about as much as all the other stuff in my head so brace yourself, dear one
from that first conversation we had i honestly was scared to form any bond or connection with you cause i had JUST given up on that.. stuff but i guess you can't help how things go
that moment in the conversation where i opened up to you alot more than alot way more than i would to another stranger and it was just a moment of shared grief it was short lived
then that first conversation we had about me being sick and you said something along the lines of making the most of it, or you being in it and that was a moment i was probably more terrified of than happy about like my heart sped up and i didn't know why
but the feeling of feelings and the feeling of being terrified feels the same
wow i said "feel" alot but you know? anyways i'm still terrified but not as much anymore
sushi is good it's cute
my head hurts that terrifies me too because up until a few months ago a headache isn't just a headache anymore
i really don't want to be sick anymore i'd really like to stop now but you always say that we can't choose the things that happen to us but we can choose how to react to them
and i'm trying trying.
sushi is good
*ah you see i did mention sushi in this one so it's not a complete lie
anyways you're probably waiting for me to finish this and now i'm finished for now
yours truly
— the great pumpkin ; 8:01pm
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