My Skin On You

depression

I finished my setlist wearing six different outfits
2 months later i went to an award show i was off for a couple days and got ready i got my hair makeup (pic above) and i was on the red carpet and i posed for pictures

and then i did an interview "hello beautiful how are you" the lady asked i smiled "im good" i lied "so your on tour your first ever world tour how do you feel" she asked

"oh i love being on tour i love the different places ive been i love the people in different states ive been to like london and new york at different places for modeling but obvousily being on tour is a way different feeling" i explained

"so where gave you been exactly" she asked i actually was in texas and selena gomez and i hung out she showed me around and i met her family

and shes one of the most genuine people i know and i love her the people in texas are so positive and real and i love positivety" i told her "your nominated for three things do you hope you win and its a rumor that your performing its that true can you tell us" she asked

"Um i dont believe that your defined by the awards you have ill love and support who ever wins even if i dont but no i dont hope i win and im not performing im hear to support the people who are performing" i smiled

"well alright then. I have to ask you who are you wearing because you look amazing" she asked i smiled "um i actually dont know wow thats kinda sad but thank you" i told her "well enjoy your night bye" she said "thank you bye" i walked away

I posed for more pictures then i walked into the building the awards started

...
I won three things
I walked on stage with an envlope "i am more then happy to announce this next group a group of talented young men who have worked so hard to be able to what they love, here are the nominees for best male artist" i said into the microphone *name name* *justin bieber* *name name name

"and the winner for best male artist is" i opened the envlope my heart sank i was happy for him but he hurt me and i was crushed "Justin Bieber" i faked a smile everyone clapped he stood up hugged some people then walked on stage he hugged the two others that were on stage with me i handed him his award we didnt hug at first but then we akwardly hugged the let go

..

I watched the rest of the show

3 months later my mom and jeremy got divorced and they live by themselves in canada seprate anyways i have been to 3 award shows in 5 months and each one becones more depressing im hurt and im not well at i stopped eating again i was well and then i fell i was at a party and i got super super stoned from smoking weed about two months ago

1 month later i am completely broken im depressed and alone i have anxiety im high most of the time there are days where i dont want to get out of bed i get headaches and fevers and im weak im broken im so tired and un

happy i want to die i thought i had everything i never wanted to let anyone down but i myself down im exhausted i have major fatigue i feel like what happen was my fault was it something i said or did why did he do this i ate some but not alot and i was just done

I went to the doctor "your mental health and your physical health are far more important then your tour the best option for you is to cancel the rest of your tour" she told me and scooter "alright were done another break okay when your ready will try again" he told me

1 month later it took me a month to finally stop my tour but i ended it last week i stop snoking weed a couple weeks ago but i was still broken right now i was in my 2 bedroom