My Skin On You

dear noah

"I think it would be better if you read this letter" he handed me the letter i unfolded it and started reading it out loud "Dear noah, i was gonna tell you this in person but i didnt know when i would get that chance to see you ever again so i wrote this letter in hopes of you maybe one day forgiving me but if you

want the truth i honestly dont want your forgiveness because i know when you want someone to fogive you for your mistakes you have to forgive yourself and i dont forgive myself i dont think i ever will, i know what i did was wrong, i was stupid and my mistake cost me everything." The tears were almost coming

" i believe i was the cause of your depression, our parents divorce and so much more  Sometimes, there are no words that can express my feelings the ones of regret, guilt and sadness for a big stupid ass mistake that i cant take back. my life sucks because you arent in it i fucked up everything and im in this predicament now

because i hurt you so bad when you trusted me. when I think of you, I get angry at myself because all i see are tears that fell, the day you walked away. i would say to you A thousand times "I'm sorry" i would begged for your forgiveness and apologize to you countless of

times  but I know it can't undo what has been done and it won't ease the pain in your heart. i know its been over a year since the day you walked away and Ive regretted my actions everyday and cheating on you is certainly an unforgivable mistake." The tears were falling down my face

"I deserve all the anger and resentment you have for me. i put you through hell and it also pains me to see you suffering because of my misbehavior and stupidity. the guilt in my heart when thinking of all the hurt that you must have felt because of my mistake is unbearable. i know i cant take what i did back but if i could i would.

i still love you and i always will. Otherwise, I wouldn't have cared how you felt one bit and wrote this apology letter. I still care about you and love you with all my heart. I truly want you to be happy  with me again and i  still want be a part of your life. i know a mistake is a mistake. I know I don't have the right to ask anything from you when I betrayed your trust in me. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me that would mean the absolute world to me i

know it's useless to say  sorry when the mistake is unforgivable. but I'm truly sorry for what I have done. love justin " i read out loud the whole thing crying i wiped my tears but more came i wiped them again and let out a big breath a few shakey breaths then looked at justin "say something"  he said i stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck and broke down in tears crying in his shoulder i eventually wiped my tears and looked at him  "justin
I forgave you a long time ago" i told him "you did" he asked i nodded he smiled we let go of the hug

Thanksgiving day

Everything was ready for dinner tonight I'm wearing (pic above) i greeted everyone that came justin and i were in the living room with the little kids "are you filming me" i asked "no" he smiled and laughed "quit filming me" i told him "alright" he told me

...

Time to eat we all went downstairs to eat we all gathered around and held hands i was standing next to justin i held his hand along with another person and lead the prayer "dear heavenly father Thank you for your amazing power and work in our lives, thank you for your goodness and for your blessings over us. Thank you for your great love and care.

thank you for bringing these wonderful people that im an standing by, together to celebrate giving thanks to everyone around us. thank you for the wonderful food that we are all about to enjoy. in jesus name Amen" i said they said amen