Reconcile (A Nian's Fanfiction)

27: Half Truth & Half Lie

Nina's POV:

I looked Ian in the eyes. I know Ian is not capable of such things but I also know that deep inside me there's a part of me that needed to know the real story from him not from anyone and especially not from Nikki.

"She told me that you threw away her birth control pills. Is it true?" I asked him. His facial expression suddenly changed. I can see the panic in his eyes and I can sense that he's nervous.

"I----" He trailed off. I suddenly felt my heart sink from my chest. I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"What Ian?" I asked again, this time with a worried tone.

"Please tell me that Nikki lied again. Please tell me that it's not true." I said. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He looked me in the eye and he held my hand tightly.

"It's true." He said silently. My eyes widened. It feels like the whole world collapsed around me. I feel like someone's gripping me heart and I'm unable to breathe.

"I can't believe it. Why did you do that?" I asked him my voice cracked and I can feel water brimming in my eyes.

"I made a mistake." He said in a low voice. I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Ian, I didn't know that you are capable of such things." I said breathlessly. I know that he noticed the disappointment in my voice. He took both my hands and grip to it gently.

"I made a mistake" he repeated.

"And I am not proud of it." He said silently.

"Of course you shouldn't be proud of it. You forced her to have sex with you!" I half scream to his face. His eyes widened and I can't read his expressions.

"What?!" he snaps

"That's what she told me. You forced her to have sex with you because you wanted so badly to have a child." I answered. He sighed deeply and I can see by the look on his face that he is getting angry and that he is trying to control himself. How could he be the one that's angry? I asked myself.

"Okay" he said and then he looked me in the eye. His ocean blue eyes boring into mine.

"First it's true that I flushed Nikki's birth control pills in the toilet. I already apologized to her about that. Second, no I didn't force her to have sex with me." He said. I furrowed my eyebrows and I'm unable to speak. He sighed deeply.

"Nina I know that it's hard for you to believe it but that's the truth. You know me and you know that I wouldn't do such things and most importantly I would never ever lie to you." He said softly and then he reached for my face and he tucked my hair behind my ears.

"I would never." He repeated in almost a whisper and it made me want to kiss him. He moved away from me and then he stood up.

"I should shower. I'm gonna be late." He said and then he went to the bathroom.

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We are inside Ian's car. We are both still silent. None of us has said a word to each other since what happened earlier. I wanted to believe him but before I came here to New York a part of me believed that the Ian I know would never flush her wife's birth control pills in the toilet. He is not the same Ian anymore. I know that people change but I don't Ian, my Ian to change.

"So you're still silent." He said breaking me from my thoughts.

"I just don't feel good." I said flatly.