Reconcile (A Nian's Fanfiction)

33. Nikki Reed (Part 2)

Nikki's POV:

"I love you too." He said with admiration. My heart stopped. He loves me. I knew it. I knew it that all along it has been me. I smiled and more tears streamed down my face. I was in front of him shamelessly crying.

"But not in that way anymore." He said. He caressed my cheek. My crying suddenly stopped. The smile faded away from my perfectly glossed lips. He removed his hand from my cheek. He looked down. I'm unable to speak or move. One second he told me he loves me too. Then the next second he broke my heart because that wasn't the 'I love you too' that I was expecting to. He looked at me again. This time I was sure he pitied me. I can see it in his blue eyes.

"Yes I love you. You'll always hold a special place in my heart because we used to be husband and wife." he said in a low voice. Tears started to pool in my eyes again. I was sure I was sobbing a little.

"But I love Nina now. We're together remember?" He said in almost whisper. I wiped away my tears using my hand.

"I thought-" I trailed off.

"I'm sorry. I'll always love you. But as a friend. We can never be like that anymore." He said and then he reached for my hand on top of the table. He gave a little grip to it.

"I want you to be honest with me." I said in a shaky voice. I'm still crying. I know I look pathetic right now. How I wish this night could end already. Or better I wish this was all a dream and seconds later I will wake up from this nightmare and I will find myself on the bed of my hotel room.

"Did you ever loved me? Or all this time it has always been Nina?" I asked him. I was shaking a little. I really can't contain my sob. My nightmare continues.

"No. Everything was true. I've loved you. I married you because I loved you. Every night that I will say to you that I love you, it was all true and genuine." He said in a tone as if he's persuading someone to buy what he's selling.

"Please think about it Ian. I can stay here in New York while you're here. We can spend some time together like what you did with Nina. Maybe you'll see that you haven't really made up your mind yet." I said. I sound like I was begging. Right now I am officially ashamed of myself. My parents and even my friends would be so ashamed of me right now. His grip on my hand tightened.

"I'm sorry but I've already made up my mind." He said. This can't be happening. This is just a really really bad dream. I didn't came all the way to New York for this.

"How I wish I know how to take away the pain that you're feeling right now. Believe me I am really sorry. I never would've wanted to hurt you." He said while looking me directly in the eyes. I cleared my throat.

"You could. If you will just give me a chance." I said. I gripped back his hand.

"I'm really sorry Nikki. I hope you would understand. I love Nina. I've already made up my mind and it's final." he said. Is it over for me now? It feels like I couldn't breathe. This is the worst heartbreak that I've experienced. But I don't regret one bit of it.

"If I didn't cheat on you. If Savannah is really our daughter. Do you think we'll still be together right now? Do you think we'll still be happily married?" I asked him. I've finally controlled my tears and sob. So this time my voice is not shaking anymore.

"Definitely." He said without hesitation. My heart broke. This is all my fault. If only I didn't cheat on him. If only I didn't give in to the temptation. If only I didn't got pregnant with another man's baby maybe there's a chance that Ian would forgive me from cheating on him. If only.

"This is all my fault." I said. On the verge of crying again. He wiped my tears using the back of his hand.

"It's all in the past now. I already forgive you." He said while wiping my tears. I looked at him, his looking at me with pity.

"But you don't love me anymore. You can't love me anymore." I said. I'm crying so loud I think we're starting to get an audience.

"Hush now. I can always be your friend. Nina too. She has a good heart. I'm sure she'd be happy to be your friend." He said. But I don't wanna be only your friend. And I don't definitely want to be Nina's friend.

"I don't think that's possible." I said flatly and then I stand up and left Ian there.

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I am back in my hotel room. I laid in my bed. I wanted to cry but there's no tears coming out. My phone rang. I fish for it inside my bag. It's Kat.

Kat: "Hello"

Me: "Hey Kat"

Kat: "So how was your dinner with Ian?"

Me: "It went fine"

Kat: "Are you now finally ready to
move on and date a new guy? I know someone. I could set you up with him"

Me: "No"

Kat: "What? but I thought-"

Me: "Kat please. I'm tired."

Kat: "But Nikki. You need to move on. Nina and Ian are happy. You can't just ruin their relationship."

Me: "Please tell Savannah I love her. And I'm coming home soon."

Kat: "Okay. Nikki think about it. You're young and beautiful. I'm sure you can find another guy to date. Don't chase Ian anymore."

Me: "Ian and I are not over. Not until Nina and him are married."

Then I hung up the phone. I know Nina is also Kat's friend. I know that she just wants what's best for me but Ian is what's best for me. He has always been. I need to wipe my tears away. I need to regain my strength. This battle is far from over. But first I need to go home. I miss my little angel.

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