Skyfall ☾Flarke AU [SLOW UPDATES]

32; there's something dark inside of me

[T/W: mention of self harm & blood]

Tuesday, 7:40 AM

His eyes had never been heavier but for obvious reasons he wouldn't allow himself to close them. At least not until he'd get to hold her hand, wrap his arms around her petite frame and kiss her lips until his lungs would ache for fresh air.

And the fact that she was not by his side right at this moment pained him in ways he couldn't describe; everything felt like too much. He could not think straight, nor control his temper or decide how he'd react facing a certain situation. It was as though he'd put all of his sanity and trust within her, and for as long as they wouldn't be reunited, he'd have to find a way to deal with it himself. And he didn't know why things were like that, why she had suddenly taken so much importance in his life, but he soon came to the conclusion that without Clarke, he was a complete mess. He was convinced nothing or nobody could've made things better, not until he'd feel her heartbeat against his chest.

Of course, the dreadful thought of her dead body kept coming back to his mind and he couldn't push it away. What if she was gone forever? He wouldn't survive that. Not only would he have lost his little sister, but also the girl who saved him more than he could ever remember. So if she were to be dead, what even was the purpose to live in a world without her?

All of these thoughts were in his mind as the small group made their way out from underneath the wreckages, the usual early morning sunlight absent from the sky. At this point, everybody considered the grey and cloudy sky to be a normal thing, as much as the thick, heavy and humid air going in and out of their lungs.

Finn could feel tears rise in his eyes when Lincoln, who walked a few steps behind, called his name. He immediately brushed them off before hearing his name being called again, and stopped dead in his tracks. "What?" He snapped, turning around to discover the bald man catching up to him. His features softened softly once he realized the tone he'd used, feeling guilt building up within him.

The older man stood still in front of him for several seconds, as though thinking of what he was going to say. "Hey, I know it's hard," he started, keeping a stern look on his face as he spoke. "I know you feel like everything's about to fall on your head and that you can't do anything to stop it."

Finn eyed him almost angrily as his lips trembled due to a rush of strong emotions going down his body,—emotions he could no longer control—feeling his heart clench once he realized the man was indeed right. He didn't want to admit it because he needed to stay stronger, not only for the people with him, but also for himself. Because he knew very well if he'd let himself go down the path of darkness another time, he probably wouldn't get out of it this time.

"But you're not alone, okay?" Lincoln continued. "You have us, and we're going to find her. Okay? We are going to find Clarke."

"Yeah, okay, sure." Finn carelessly answered, his dark brown eyes then drifting away from the man's as though growing impatient. He knew what Lincoln was trying to do, but he didn't want to waste time trying to fix his tormented soul. He'd do that later, when Clarke would be safe.

But as soon as he attempted to walk away, Lincoln grabbed his arm and pulled him back toward him. "I mean it, Finn. It's going to be okay."

"Look, I don't wanna sound rude here but in the latest news you were the one who needed comfort, so I don't know what's your sudden obsession with me but you can let it go!" The boy snapped again as he freed himself from his grip, though this time hardly caring about his behaviour. "I don't need anyone's help!"

The next thing Finn knew was Lincoln reaching out for his forearm and turned it over, revealing the scarlet dampened bandage around his wrist, and the small burned section on his skin, slightly lower. A heavy, long silence fell around them, the taller man's eyes not leaving the boy's.