Reckless- A Jc Caylen Fan Fiction

Chapter 48

"Jc, can we talk? Alone?" I asked desperately.

"No.  But Bradley probably wants to." He said just as chilly, but continued staring at me while he took a sip from a Tequila bottle. I didn't know how much he had been drinking, but I knew it was bad, and I hated it.

"Please Jc, can I explain?" I said and knew how close I was to tears, but I refused to show me weak right now.

"Why would I want to listen to a bitch?" He said and the other guys laughed out loud.

"Come on, I only need a few minutes." I said and ignored his comment.

"Okay then, just because you are nagging so fucking much." He said furiously and stood up, I nodded towards the garden and he walked unsteadily out the door, and I went after. I heard how the other guys commented on what a bitch I was, which didn't bother me a single fuck. When we came out, Jc sat down on the grass and I sat a bit away from him. It hurt to see him like this, to see us like this, again.

"Jc, I need to explain..." I begged and met his gaze. He said nothing but gestured me to start.

"That night was the worst of my life, you basically stated that I meant nothing to you. Do you have any idea about how it felt to hear those words? After everything we´d been through, it would end up like that? Before, I would have stayed at home and cried till I couldn't cry any more, but this time I felt so angry, hurt, to do it. I had no plans to meet Bradley." I saw how he clenched his fists when I mentioned Bradley. "But it happened. I was feeling shit after it and all I want is to have everything undone, but I can´t. You have to understand that it was a mistake, haven´t I proven that you are the one I love?" I asked desperately and couldn't stop the tears.

"Something I don´t understand is how you could do it with him, if it would be anyone else, except for him, I wouldn't take it as hard. But the fact that you chose him, and you know what I think of him, what he thinks of you, that was so fucking low Ali. You don't think I feel like shit? Don´t try to play the victim here, Ali. It was you who messed up this time, not me. Why the hell do you think I´m drinking so fucking much right now so I will get pissed drunk?" He said and raised his voice.

"Jc please, you have to forgive me." I said, crying.

"I don´t have to do anything!" He screamed. "I love you so incredibly much. Fuck, you´re the best thing that´s ever happened to me! FUCK!" He yelled frustrated and stood up. He pulled his fingers through his hair and seemed to be ambivalent about how he would do. I stood up and took a step toward him. But he pulled away immediately, which hurt. This was my entire fault. If only I could have kept away from Bradley, this would never have happened.

"I love you Jc, you know that I do." I said and held around my silver necklace that hung around my neck, which I had gotten from Jc at Christmas.

"I know that Ali. You are the best I have, but we both mess things up the whole time. I wonder if it will ever function normally between us." He said, looking suddenly sad and hurt, which made me cry even more.

"I can´t handle when you are sad Ali." He said suddenly and walked closer to me. He wiped away the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. We looked at each other deep in the eyes but I started crying and he suddenly held me close and laid my head against his chest. I loved him so much that it physically hurt. I couldn´t be without him, but on the other hand, I couldn´t handle all of this drama that has been going on continuously since I met him.

"Jc, I have an idea. We both need to think. Think if we really can forgive each other for what both have done. So now we can´t see each other for a week, not talk at all. Then if we can forgive each other, we will meet at the cliff at the lake, at noon, then we´re in this. No bullshit and it´s all about us two. If we don´t, then it´s over and no turning back." I said quietly.