Two Different Worlds

Chapter Twenty Six ~ Similar To My Dream

Chapter Twenty Six ~ Similar To My Dream

" I walk to where (YourName) was sitting and I took her by the hands and hugged her tight and whispered 'I love you' "

...Continued~~~

~My Point of View~
I go up to the front and talk into the microphone.

Me: hello everyone, friends and families of Rose and KyungSoo. I know we are all here to witness their happiness, I am too. I really just want KyungSoo to be happy, not trying to make a war with his family to be with me. I rather see him with Rose so that auntie can be happy, rose can as well, and KyungSoo doesn't have to work so hard to be with me. This is a simple problem, and I caused it, so I will solve it for all of you. It's only me, i'm the problem. Because I don't deserve KyungSoo. I can cry all night and day because I'm noy with KyungSoo but I can still live on as long as he's happy. As I can see his smile because he's worth me living. I know I need to let go of KyungSoo, like in a dream I recently had, all this is really similar to my dream. Where Rose and KyungSoo marries. Where everyone is just hating on me because I don't fit in. The major difference is that KyungSoo is on my side not Rose's and I feel really special for that because I feel loved. Every girl, every guy, wants to be loved not just me not just you, but everyone. In my dream they treated me so bad, they would make me jealous and even invited me to their wedding or else I'll die in the desserts. I cried out my eyes for me to see them get married in my dream, so much I had to go the hospital. Then I woke up in the dream with KyungSoo on my side. He was crying his tears out that even he fainted too. There I woke up out of the dream and screamed on the way to the concert in China. Everyone treats me bad, that dream gave me nightmares ever since. Everyone cheers on for Rose when she's dating KyungSoo but when I was with him everyone hated me, no matter how hard I tried to be nice and let it go. I just really think that KyungSoo should have the right to pick who he wants to date and marry. People should be respectful to his choices because after all it's his life, not yours. I really love KyungSoo, a lot, just so much, I love him to my death, he always makes me smile even if Rose has been bullying me all day, he gives me a reason to smile and I'm really happy to have him. I really want to break down right now because this reality is so similar to my dream i don't even know how to tell if this a dream or reality. It scares me the most not to know what's true and what's fake. I'm scared to make the wrong step and ruin my life. I do my best to let go like in the dream but I feel like I'm already trying to let go because right now I feel like my dream is true and not a dream anymore. I try really hard to let go even when he said that we should secretly date and break up in public, I really took that chance to try and forget him and to really let go because I feel like I'm the one who causes all these problems. Does anyone understand me? I feel like I just don't belong because everyong says things to me and it really hurts me, I really think about what people say about me because what if it was really what they thought about me? It wouldn't be right. I try so hard to change and let go so people can accept me but I just can't. If I can accept others for who they are, can't they accept me the way I am too? It's really unfair for me and I never even complained till now. I really really love KyungSoo. You don't know how much we've been through so you can't judge us, you can't say that we can't be together just because I am not rich or smart. But please tell me if having a good personality is a million times better than being rich or smart. What is so bad about me? If we're happy together, then that's all that matters. You probably would say money brings you happiness, but does it really? You can be happy for a moment but you'll get tired of it, eventually you'll end up with no money when you use all of it but love never runs out, it never gets old, it's always there, a soulmate for life. I really love him and I'm not forcing you to ship us or even let us be together, I can give our relationship up if he can have rights to choose for his own life because I'm willingto give up my needs for his happiness. That's true love, not forcing people to marriage.

~In My Head:
My eyes fill up with tears and I run out the door of the church at where the wedding was held at. I cried and cried, thinking back of my dream, how it was so similar to my dream. KyungSoo chased after me. The wedding, me crying at the wedding, the speech was like a representation of my phone cover and when KyungSoo cried after reading it. The moment when KyungSoo came to comfort me was like how everyone went to another loaction for the dance but KyungSoo came to pick me up and bring me to the hospital and to comfort me. When he hugged me tight and whispers 'sorry' it reminded me of the part of my dream where I woke up in the hospital and he was apologizing to me and crying till he fainted. Why is it so simliar? Should I be happy that at least they didn't have babies? Can I smile because KyungSoo loves me and always have unlike the dream? Why do I ask for so much, why can't I smile and just face KyungSoo and tell him 'I'm fine' I don't want him to worry for me, I don't want him to cry and faint because of me. I'm not worth his tears. I took a deep breathe and wiped my tears away. I looked up at KyungSoo in the eyes.

Me: KyungSoo, please don't worry about me, I'm fine.

KyungSoo: no you're not, I can tell, you've cried so hard, your eyes are red. How can you be fine? Please tell me how can I not worry about you if my heart is aching to see you like this?

Me: KyungSoo, I know you love me, i love you too but..

KyungSoo: I know you love me, and that's why I care, that's why I can't live to see you like this, that's why it's my job to make you happy.

Me: KyungSoo, this is not your job, this isn't something you have to do, don't force yourself if you don't want to

KyungSoo: I want to make you happy, I want to make you smile, to make you laugh. I want to, it's not a job but.. (YourName) just please stop crying like this. I'll always be there for you forever, I don't care what I have to go through in order to be with you. I'll go through anything if that makes me to be with you.

Me: KyungSoo, I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want to think about it because all I think about is it's my fault and I know you're going to tell me it's not but I just don't know how I can believe that it's not my fault. Every since I came into your life, everthing has changed and not for the good but the bad and I feel like it's really unfair for me to make you go through so much and fights with you family and it's really unfair if I left your life and left you hanging while you still really loved me. I don't know what to do, I really just want everything to fall into place. The dream itself freaked me out already, when I screamed on the airplane and for it to almost fully come true, so similar to my dream, it's a bit scary don't you think? Like I've been through it two times. I know it didn't really come true but most of it did, the main conclusion of the dream did and I don't know how to accept all these things.

KyungSoo: I'm sorry for being a burden to you.

Me: it's not your fault either, it's none of our faults. Just give me some time and I'll be fine, just I hope you can explain everything to your Aunt.

I walked away from him in tears. I didn't regret telling him that I wanted a break from him, it's just too much for me right now, I can't tell what's true and what's a dream.

...To Be Continued~~~

I hope you like this chapter and the story! Thank you for reading and have a good day!