The Sea, The Stars, and Luna | ✓ The Watty's 2019

chapter 18

hey jude the beatles

Sebastian

As we continued our journey across the country, I continued to grow closer to Luna. She was absolutely fascinating. You'd think to get to know her would be boring because her whole life she's lived in a hospital, but it honestly was the only thing keeping me going. And that's what scared me. I was growing almost too close, and so was she. Every time I fall harder for her, it makes me remember that she is dying.

And I hated that. In my mind, she isn't dying. She isn't a dying girl. She is the carefree, beautiful, adventurous Luna.

"Sebastian, do you have any ibuprofen?" She asked, rubbing her temples.

"Um yeah in the glove box." I handed her a bottle of water. "You okay, Luna?"

She downed the pill and took a big gulp of water. "I just have a headache and my muscles are sore."

"From what?" But I think I knew.

"Probably climbing up that hill... and life." She sighed, curling up in a blanket in her seat beside me. I turned the heat up because she complained she was cold even though it was 73° outside (23° Celsius). I wanted to cuddle her and warm her up, but I couldn't.

"What should we listen to?" She asked, digging through the tapes. I pointed to one without reading it and she put it in.

"Wow, a risk taker. I like it," she said and I chuckled.

A Beatle's song began playing, Hey Jude, and I quietly hummed along as we travelled down the road on our way to Nevada.

"Sebastian, who told you that story about the lake?" She asked after a few minutes of silence.

"My grandfather used to tell me that to calm me down. When I was little and crying he would tell me. And when I was getting in my teens and had anxiety attacks he would tell me. Which somehow, they worked. And he died right after my depression started getting bad," I explained. It felt like salt was being poured into a wound I had just opened. It was bittersweet talking about my grandfather. The memories were so good, but now that he was gone it almost felt like none of that ever even happened. He told me the memories would always be there, even if he wasn't. He was right.

"Why did you almost kill yourself? Was it just the depression or did something just... send you over?" She asked timidly, sounding scared to even ask such a question.

"Well, my grandfather, he was my best friend, had just died. My sister died in a car accident not long later. All my school friends thought I was some sort of freak and they abandoned me even though I cared about them immensely. My parents seemed like they loved my little brother more. It was just an easy way out. I felt like it was the only way I could stop feeling the way I was. I can't even explain how dark the places my mind could go," I said, my voice trembling, "you think of doing some pretty crazy things in order to escape the sadness, Luna."

She was quiet after that. Luna didn't say another word, probably processing the truckload of feelings I just dumped on her. I probably just made her headache worse. This is why I only like talking about these things to my therapist, and even then it's awful.

"Sorry if that was too much," I said quietly.

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, Sebastian."

Oh, great. A pity trip.

"I'm fine." I waved my hand and she nodded, staring out her window. Luna reached her hand over and intertwined our fingers together, not saying a word.

"So, Death Valley. That is gonna be cool," she stated.

"I know. I just can't believe that this is actually happening right now. We're actually seeing things we've always wanted to see. I'm just so... I can't even explain it." I couldn't focus on anything other than her small hand in mine.

"It's ineffable," she said.

"Ineffable?"

"Too great to be expressed in words," she said.

"Then that is the perfect word to explain how I am feeling."

We travelled down the highway for two hours after that, playing I Spy and twenty questions. I learned that Luna's middle name was Elody. Luna Elody Matthews. I also learned that she hates ketchup, but cannot live without mustard. I respectfully disagreed. She prefers tea over anything. She also likes old stuff. Old music, cassette tapes, even the clothes. She was so different than anyone I know. She was refreshing, and that made it so much harder to try and not feel anything for her.

I felt the car sputter a little. It started to slow down even as I pressed the gas pedal. It wasn't accelerating, so I pulled onto the side of the road.

"What happened? Are we out of gas?" Luna asked.

I looked behind the steering wheel, and sure enough, the little gas sign was on 'E'.

"Yep. We're out of gas," I sighed, "I guess our game of twenty questions distracted me from how much gas was left."

"Well, do you have any in the back?"

"Nope."

The weather had climbed up to 86° (30° Celsius) and the car was already heating up. Luna and I left, changed into shorts and started drinking water. The sun was boiling here.

"So, what's the plan?" Luna asked. "Are we gonna look for a gas station or wait until someone comes through, hoping they have some?"

"Well, I'm going to wait until someone stops. I can't leave you here alone, and you can't come because you shouldn't be walking miles in this weather. I'll just," I walked to the edge of the road and stuck out my thumb. "Just wait here."

"Okay, how long do you think we have to wait?"

"I'm not sure. But you have to stay hydrated." I pointed to her bottle of water and she took another sip, uttering an 'okay mom.'

"I hope someone comes soon," she sounded worried.

"They will." I knew someone would come eventually. The only question we were left with though, was when?

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a/n: thanks for reading, i love you! Have a lovely day and I hope you liked the chapter 😘