The Sea, The Stars, and Luna | ✓ The Watty's 2019

chapter 48

i'm so tired lauv

Sebastian

December came faster than I could even imagine, and soon New York was covered with snow and the windows lined with frost and ice. Christmas was in the crisp air, and my heart was full.

It had been over a week since I last saw Luna since I was spending time at home with Adam and my family. My parents invited over my grandma, so I visited her for a couple of days and told her everything as well.

Luna was allowed to have some visitors today, so Gus and I were going to meet up and eat lunch with her.

When I got to Luna's room, Gus was leaning against the wall waiting for me. I knocked and she didn't answer, so I quietly opened the door.

Luna was laying there, just staring out the window blankly. Her eyes were lifeless. I walked over to her and she didn't acknowledge me. Her eyes were dark and purple and even more prominent on her pale skin. Her lips were dark and beginning to become chapped, and the bruises were getting worse.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked, sitting on the edge of her bed. She didn't even speak, her eyes not wavering from the window as she shook her head slowly back and forth.

"Would you rather do lunch when you're feeling better?"

She slowly moved her head towards me and a silent tear escaped her still vibrant eyes.

"Luna, what's wrong?" I grabbed her cold hand and kissed it, holding it tightly. She closed her eyes, squeezing them as the tears fell and her chin quivered.

"I'm feeling okay, physically. Not emotionally," she said.

"Well, what's the matter?"

"Look at me, Sebastian," she said louder, "I am on my death bed."

I didn't say anything as I broke eye contact with her.

"I sit in this bed all day and I look out the window or I stare at walls, wondering when I'm just going to go to sleep and never wake up again. I think about leaving you behind. And Gus and Adam and my parents. When I die I'm going to leave everyone behind. And that's the thing. You won't even be left behind, you guys are all casualties too."

"Luna, losing you is going to hurt like hell," I said, swallowing the enormous lump in my throat, "but we will get through this. You have given me faith, I know that we will."

"You say that now. But what happens when you can't say that to me anymore? Who are you going to say it to?"

I leaned over and kissed her lips and her hands made their way into my hair and tangled up. I felt her tears against my cheeks and I deepened the kiss, placing my hand on her neck.

I pulled away and rested my forehead on hers.

"I love you, to the moon and back. I know so many people say that to be cutesy but I mean it, Sebastian. You're my sea and my moon and my stars."

"I love you, too," I cried. I felt myself sobbing and I fell into Luna's chest as she rubbed my back. I cried into her, trembling furiously.

"Hey," she finally said.

I lifted my head up and her small thumbs wiped the tears from my face. She smiled and tilted her head, remembering who she was.

"You're so handsome, did you do something different with your hair?" She smirked. I laughed through the tears and kissed her again.

"You and Gus go do something today. I'll be okay. We can do something together when I'm feeling better."

"Okay," I said, sitting up. I pecked one more quick kiss.

"Love you," I said.

"I love you."

Gus was sitting on the floor outside her room and stood up as soon as I shut the door.

"Woah, are you okay man?"

"Yeah," I laughed, "we just had some stuff to get off our chests. She's just gonna stay in today." I said, rubbing my eyes with my sleeve.

"Oh okay. So what do you wanna do today?"

"I'm not sure."

Gus and I stood in the hall until he lit up, and started walking. I followed behind him.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"I've got an idea, just come with me."