lose my mind dean lewis
SebastianI felt Luna stir in her sleep and she groaned, turning over. I wrapped my arm around her waist and let my other one rest on her side as I drew small patterns on her bare arms with my fingertips.
There was a crack of moonlight breaking through the curtain that fell on her face, and I just looked at her. I couldn't help but touch her, trace intricate lines into her skin. She was so beautiful.
My hand roamed over her face where her hair had fallen, and I pushed it behind her ear. I listened to her steady breaths, deep and perfect. I let my fingers gingerly follow her jawline and her cheeks. I noticed her little birthmarks and freckles in certain places.
I remember back when I was laying in my hospital bed. I would stare at my bare ceiling, thinking about leaving the hospital and finding someone who wanted to leave as much as me. And for some reason, now that was all happening.
I'm not laying in a hospital bed anymore. I'm laying in a Super 8 hotel bed beside the girl who has given me hope. No one has given me hope before. That's what made her even more special to me.
I'm sure if I hadn't have met Luna, I wouldn't have even gotten better. I wouldn't have been able to leave the hospital and see my parents. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to take my father's Suburban and leave. I would not have been able to live.
We'd still both be stuck in that hospital. She'd be waiting until that stupid disease took her life. And I'd be waiting until my parents came to their senses and let me out.
And at that moment I felt my heart burst. With freedom, with a sense of happiness. I haven't felt sincerely happy for as long as I can remember. All I've felt is loneliness, tiredness like I had no hope for anything. And even when I met Luna I still felt those things, but in the past few weeks I've known her she's changed everything.
"Sebastian?" Her voice cracked through the darkness of the room.
"Yes?"
"What time is it?" She asked, furrowing her brows.
"I don't know. Late. Three or something."
"Why are you up?" She questioned.
"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."
"You should've woke me up," she said.
"You were too pretty to wake up," I said. She sighed.
"How is it that when I used to be in that hospital, all I felt like was a dying person? These past few days, I just feel anything but dead."
"I was asking myself that exact same question," I chuckled. Another reason she is incredible. She can read my mind.
Luna cuddled closer to me, resting her head and hand on my chest. We laid there in silence, I didn't know how for how long.
"Sebastian, I'm scared," she said finally.
"What are you scared of?" I asked, pulling the blankets up closer so she was completely covered. She felt cold.
"Because, no matter how much I tell myself that I'm going to fight off this disease, I know it's going to kill me," she said. I felt her trembling and a tear fall onto my bare chest. My heart started to break. I haven't ever seen a hint of sadness or defeat in this girl.
I had no idea what to say to that. How do you tell a dying girl that she isn't going to die? You simply can't. And I couldn't lie to her either. Something I've learned from all this. Life is unfair and the world is a dark place.
"You've still got a long time before that. A whole world to travel. Didn't you say you'd last until your twenties?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. "After this, when we get back to New York, I'll make some money and take us to Paris."
"I don't want to go to Paris. Nothing to see there. I wanna go to Machu Picchu," she said, wiping her tears.
"Well then I'll save up to take you to Machu Picchu," I said.
"I'll just keep praying. If any God does exist, hopefully, he hears," she said.
She became quiet, then spoke up again. "Sebastian. Listen, I think we need to stop whatever it is we're doing. Because I know for sure I am catching feelings. I don't know where you stand but I can't be another casualty in your life-"
"-Woah. I am going to stop you there. Luna no matter what you say or do, I have definitely already fallen for you. And you know, yeah. Losing you, that is going to hurt. A lot. But, I've been through stuff like that before and I can tell you, it always gets better. I don't know what is going to happen for us, but I would at least like to see what could happen. I'm not letting you protect me."
She shook her head. "I just don't want to leave you."
"And I don't want you to leave. But life isn't fair sometimes. I'm telling you now that I am in if you are."
She nodded and stayed silent for a while. She then quietly said, "I'm in."
After a little while of laying in the dark, Luna's breaths became deep again. She had fallen asleep.
I yawned and shut my eyes, feeling the comfort of Luna beside me, and I fell asleep.
***
a/n: Thanks for reading I hope you liked it. If you did please vote.
I love yallllll
Abby😘
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The Sea, The Stars, and Luna | ✓ The Watty's 2019
Teen Fiction*** this was written when I was 15, you've been warned*** [1st place winner of the Rose Awards] [#2 in disease 06.25.18] [COMPLETED ✓] Sebastian had never planned to leave the mental hospital. He didn't plan on meeting a terminally ill girl and runn...