Toxic. (Ethan Dolan.)

Part 44 - Exams

I went to school with my hands quaking. I went to my exam class and took a seat. The room started to pile in with students. But I look at the empty seat next to the window. No Ethan. Mr Smith walks in and smiles at the class. My eyes were glued to the empty desk. I look at Mr Smith who had realized his absence. He looked at me and smiled weakly.

"We will start in ten minutes." He announced.

I sat back in my chair hoping that he would walk through those doors. I wanted him here, I wanted him to prove to everyone and to himself that he can pass. That he can do more than just sports. I look at the time and there was three minutes before the exam was about to start. Mr Smith was keeping an eye on the time. I was staring at the door. Praying and hoping that he would walk through.

"Okay, you may start-"

"Ethan's going to come." I blurt.

Everyone's attention was drawn to me, I close my eyes in utter embarrassment and shame as i facepalm.

"I'm sorry Kendall, we need to start."

I sink in my seat and I nod. The exam had started, I opened my book and I started to write.

-

When the exam had finished and I was making my way home. I had my head down and I felt like I failed. Not the exam, but I feel like I failed Ethan and his family. Even after what he did to me, I feel like I failed as a tutor and as a friend. When I got home my dad was already there. I shut the door and he looks up at me.

"How did it go?"

I stood there right in front of the door. Trying to get out words, trying to think of something to say but I couldn't say anything. I shrug my shoulders and I wipe the hair out of my face.

"I think I did good." I say.

He smiled at me. And I try to smile back. But I didn't. Instead I started to cry. No, not cry, I started to sob. I let it all out, everything that I had been holding in. It broke me. I had cracked. He failed and I felt like it's on me. It may not seem like much at all. But I don't know why it had hurt me so much. I worked so hard with him, I fell in love with him in the process of tutoring him and he threw it all back into my face. My dad held me as I cried, I let it all out. I couldn't hold it all in anymore.