Maybe I'm Mesmerized

Chapter 2

"So, do you have any information about meditation gurus in India?" I ask the man at the travel agency.

The man hesitates before answering. Obviously he doesn't get many people coming in here asking about meditation. "Oh, um, let me have a look, I'm sure we can find you something." he says, taking out his file marked INDIA and beginning to page through it. While he does this, I observe the room I'm in. The walls are covered in maps and bookshelves contain hundreds of files about any place you can think of.

I'm particularly taken by a wall decorated in an Eastern style. Oriental patterns and photographs of people stuck onto different places on the map of Asia. I look at India and see people sitting cross-legged with their eyes closed and it fills me with excitement. I don't know why I take such an interest in meditation, but I've always been drawn to it.

"Uh... Miss?" I hear the man say. I turn from the wall and approach him once again.

"Any luck?" I say hopefully.

He smiles. "Of course, here are a all the pamphlets I found relating to meditation." He hands me a small stack of papers which I immediately start looking through. Most of them look like money-making schemes with their Americanized advertisements until one catches my eye. I see the words Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and almost feel certain that I have heard of him before. "This." I say instantly. I feel reckless making such a hasty decision without looking at the rest, but something about this pamphlet feels rights and I can't quite put my finger on it.

3 MONTHS LATER...

3rd January 1968

My bags are packed with everything I can't survive without for 6 months. The past 3 months have made me feel as if maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel of depression. I've planned every single aspect of this trip. From what I'm doing to what I'm eating, I've planned it and today is the day. These past 5 years I've spent waiting to find a new start. My mom thought America would give us a new start after dad and us in England, but I hated it. All America meant was that I was moving further away from a time of happiness. Although half of me knows that in six months I'll be back where I started, the other half, deep down inside has an idea that this is where my life changes, but I don't get my hopes up.

"Have you got everything?" My mother asks. She's been fretting over me constantly for the past few weeks. I'm grateful that she is sending me to India, but I still haven't found it in myself to forgive her for the years of neglect and I know she's trying to make it up to me.

I sigh with a smile. Now is not the time to be rude to my mom. "Yes, for the billionth time." I laugh.

She smiles her anxious smile, "Okay, and you know where to go and you have a lift from the airport organised, right?"

If I don't tell her to stop this, I know she's going to try and get a hold of me every day while I'm there, but I need time to myself. "Mom, look, I know this is strange and exciting and scary but you are going to need to stop worrying. I can't call you every day while I'm there. Just trust me."

She sighs, "Okay, don't get into too much trouble." There she goes again, always expecting the worst of me even though I have barely left the house for the past 5 years and I'm still treated like a teenager, but I push my annoyed thoughts aside and say my farewell.

I'm woken by a nudge and suddenly open my eyes to see a flight attendant in front of me. "Ma'am, we have arrived in Rishikesh." she tells me. I obviously fell asleep at some point during the flight.

I smile at her sleepily, "Thank you."

Stepping out of the plane, I feel as if I'm on a different planet. The air isn't filled with smoke like in New York and the airport is much smaller. There are even mountains in the distance, which is fascinating to me, having lived in New York for the past 5 years where the only mountains are skyscrapers.

People smile at me as I enter the airport and once I get to my suitcase I begin the search for my driver. I see a man holding a piece of paper with the words ABIGAIL SOUTH and I know that he must be the one.

The drive there isn't too long but maybe it's because I'm so interested in the beautiful scenery of the mountains. Before I know it, I'm there and sitting in the room I'm staying in for the next 6 months.