Maybe I'm Mesmerized

Chapter 18

Abby's POV:
We reach the forest and I am pleased with how things are going so far. John is being sweeter than usual, going out of his way to make sure that I'm okay.

It's getting colder though. I knew that the good weather couldn't last forever and I had been in such a rush getting changed that I am only wearing a jersey and no shirt underneath. I pull the sleeves over my hands, trying to keep the chill from getting in. John notices.

"You cold?" he asks.

"A little." I admit.

"Here." he says, taking off his own jersey and draping it around my shoulders.

"Oh no, John, I can't take your jersey. You'll be freezing." I say, pushing him away but he persists.

"It's okay, really, I'm not cold at all." he smiles warmly.

"If you're sure." I give in and let him put it around me.

"Thank you." I mumble awkwardly.

"So why did you come to this retreat anyway?" he asks.

"I've been interested in this stuff for ages. Learning how to meditate looked like something that would help me cope with life better and I wanted to find out more about myself." I explain.

"And how is all of that going?"

"Okay... with a few distractions." I smirk, "What about you - why are you here?"

"Well George started becoming interested in India and pulled us all along. I don't think Ringo is enjoying it though. He mentioned leaving a few days ago." John says.

"Oh dear, was he being serious about that?" I ask.

"Yeah, it's a shame really, but it's hard for him to eat the food here. He's been living on baked beans from a tin."

"That must be difficult." I sympathise.

John is being calm and collected as we continue our walk. He isn't confessing his love to me or trying to make me upset. He is just being open and honest and I really like this side of him. It makes me believe that we can actually become friends.

"Why do you like Paul?" he suddenly pipes up. My heart skips a beat at Paul's name being mentioned. It seems like a very uncomfortable topic for John but at the same time it was as if he was just dying to ask that question.

"Um, well, he's kind and seems to understand me." I say, words escaping my head. I have many reasons I like Paul but thinking of them on the spot is difficult, especially in front of John. How does one explain why they are in love with someone?

"Oh okay." John says, dropping the topic. He doesn't seem to want to push it anymore and there is some regret in his voice, as if he wished he hadn't asked, but I want to know why.

"Why are you so interested in Paul and I anyway?" I ask bluntly.

I almost think that I see him blush. "I'm not. I was just asking." he says, turning away.

We continue walking in silence for a while until we reach the small patch of flowers that Paul and I had almost kissed a while back. I remember John and George finding us, knowing that we were doing something more than just simply sitting in a meadow as friends.

"Wanna sit?" John asks brightly.

I smile at his positive attitude. "Sure." I say and take a seat on the grass with him.

"Here." he says, picking a sweet purple flower from the ground and holding it out to me.

"Oh thanks." I blush and I am about to take it when he stops me.