Maybe I'm Mesmerized

Chapter 20

Abby folds her arms uncomfortably. I feel my heart beating right out of of my chest. Was I supposed to tell her? Was I supposed to wait? I don't know. Usually I'm good at these sorts of things.

"Paul, don't be silly." she says nervously, "You don't love me. You can't love me."

Ouch. Why does she think that I can't love her? Of course I love her. I'm bloody obsessed with her.

"Abby, I did break up with Jane." I change the topic quickly at her dismissal of my confession.

"Yeah, sure you did." she says sarcastically, "Come on, Paul, I saw you two last night at dinner. I'm glad that you both adore one another, but there's no use in lying to me anymore."

"I'm not lying. Abby, her dad was sick. She came back and told me all about it and how was I supposed to break her heart right after that? The least I could do was spend the afternoon with her. After dinner I ended it." I explain and Abby's angry expression softens.

"Oh." she says slowly.

"Yeah." I reply hopefully.

"I'm sorry. I probably sound like a horrible person, shouting at you now then." she says, guilt in her eyes.

"No, don't apologize. I deserved it." I assure her, allowing a small grin to appear on my face.

She lets an embarrassed smile spread across her face as well and looks down to the ground. She is so cute when she is embarrassed.

"No you didn't." she mumbles, "Did you sleep here all night? What happened to..." she stops before she finishes her sentence. She's probably wondering where John is. Of course. Why wouldn't she want to know where John, her little hero, is? Why am I so jealous?

"Yeah, I came here right after I spoke to Jane, but I decided not to wake you." I say, not mentioning John. I feel like if I hear her say his name my envy will become even greater.

"Oh, that was very kind of you." she smiles sweetly. She has a lovely smile and her golden hair. I just want to kiss her but I still feel insecure after she ignored my comment about loving her.

"Well, would you like to accompany me to breakfast, madame?" I say in a fake posh accent.

She giggles. I love making her laugh. "Paul, you haven't even changed out of your clothes from yesterday." she smirks, looking me up and down.

I look down and realize she is right. I quickly look at my reflection in the window and see what a mess my hair is. I smooth it down while Abby watches me closely with an amused look on her face.

"Okay, I'm going to go shower and I'll meet you in the dining hall in ten minutes." I tell her. She nods and playfully messes up my hair with her hand. I swat her off. "Hey! I'm trying to make my appearance look semi-decent." I protest.

I may have pushed her away but I would let her mess up my hair any day. "You always look decent." she says and then blushes immediately, embarrassed.

I smirk and begin to walk back towards my room, but she stops me. "Paul," she calls out. I turn around to face her. "what you said about loving me, did you mean it?" she asks hesitantly.

"Yes," I say seriously, not wanting to look her in the eye, "of course I did." I add quietly before turning and heading to my room with a feeling of defeat. She doesn't feel the same, does she?

Abby's POV:

He loves me? Oh wow, he said he loves me. Butterflies are running through my stomach. I would have told him the same thing if only he hadn't walked away so quickly and although I now know he feels the same, there is still anxiety at the thought of saying those words to him.