Maybe I'm Mesmerized

Chapter 14

John is being silly. He's lying to me. He doesn't know me. He can't like me that much. He doesn't like me. It's fine. He's just playing games and I won't try to join in. He's complicating things that would be so much simpler if he just stopped getting involved.
The afternoon goes by and finally the yoga class is being held which I decide to go to. People give me strange looks because I am supposed to be in bed sick, but I try and not make too much eye contact with too many people and go on with my yoga. I catch Pattie's eye at one point and she gives me a smirk, knowing why Paul and I were both 'sick' this morning.

I notice that Paul isn't at the class though, obviously enjoying his day off from all the classes. I think he mentioned while we were eating this morning that he wanted to finish a song that he was working on so I assume that's what he is doing. He seemed really excited about it and it makes me happy to see him so passionate about something that I also share a passion for. I think back to the swim we both had today and the way I felt. I think he wanted to do something more but I'm not ready for that yet. That all just seems scary to me right now, but I suppose the right time will come.

The class is relaxing and frees me mind from all the stress John was creating. It's late when the class ends though and most people head straight to the dining hall for dinner so I decide to follow suit, catching up with Pattie and George.

"Hey, little rebel." Pattie giggles, referring to my skipping of classes and meals today.
"Oh please, I excused myself!" I remind her. She just raises her eyebrows with a smug look.

I haven't told her about John yet and I sort of want to get her opinion about it. I know that I can trust her because she is my friend and also because she knows John better than me. I need to know if he's just fooling around with me or being serious.
I decide that the next time I get her alone, I will confide in her.

Walking into the hall, I see John already sitting at the usual table looking miserable as ever. He looks up towards us and gives me a small smile which I return. Why am I returning it? Aren't I angry at him? Or maybe I feel bad for him.

We collect our food and go and find our seats at the table, Paul soon arriving at my side and giving my leg a soft brush with his hand and I decide to return it which earns a surprised smile from him.

I glance up and see that John is watching us and I notice some hurt deep in his eyes, almost completely hidden, but I can see it.

"How's that new song going, Paul?" he asks, shaking away the sadness that I had just caught a glimpse of.

"Good, good. It's just this one section which has been tripping me up with the chords, but it'll be done by tomorrow." he says.

This sparks off a conversation about music and songwriting which I enjoy contributing to. I share a story about a song where I had the weirdest chord progression and John and Paul laugh, understanding the strange struggles of musicians. It's nice to have something we can all relate on.

"What kind of music do you listen to, Abby?" John asks me.

"Oh a lot. I love your music." I begin and see him smirk and decide to correct myself, "I mean, your band's music. I also like Buddy Holly, some Elvis obviously, The Byrds, also the Beach Boys." I list.

"Okay okay, but the most important question is: The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?" he says, trying to keep a straight face.

I laugh. "The Rolling Stones are much better." I say sarcastically but he doesn't seem to realize I'm joking and his smile fades. "Oh relax, of course the Beatles." I giggle and he livens up again.

"I was scared you were serious for a second there. Then you would definitely have to leave." he jokes and I appreciate that John and I are managing to get on for once without having a row.