Maybe I'm Mesmerized

Chapter 22

"What the hell?" Paul mutters, a tone of hurt clear in his voice as he looks directly at John.

"Oh, hey, mate." John says pleased with Paul's reaction. I can't help but feel that I am destroying their friendship. Paul gets jealous, John enjoys upsetting people and they both like me.

"Abby, why would you leave the hotel without telling me? I've been worried sick, searching since I got back and couldn't find you." Paul says turning to me. Guilt runs through me. I shouldn't have left, but then again, I was getting tired of staying inside and going out with John was a nice surprise. I know Paul just wants to protect me, but he doesn't own me. I am perfectly capable of going out on my own.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was bored and I just didn't know how to get a hold of you and when John showed up at the door and invited me to go out, I thought it would be fun." I explain and Paul's eyes soften as I look at him.

"I suppose all that matters is that you're okay." he says, putting a hand on my shoulder and pulling me in for a hug. I can just imagine John rolling his eyes as I hear him sigh behind us.

"How about we all go out for dinner then?" John suggests suddenly.

"Okay, sure." Paul says, still recovering from his previous anger, "What do you want to eat?"

"How about pasta?"

With that decision made, we head off to the nearest Italian restaurant that we can find, Paul keeping his arm around my shoulder the entire time. I can feel the tension of John's annoyance in the air, but Paul seems blissfully unaware of it.

My mind keeps flashing back to earlier when John and I had kissed. I regret not pushing him away sooner. If I had, then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad right now.

As we reach our table in the restaurant, Paul takes a seat next to me and John sits across the table from us. Suddenly I realize how incredibly awkward this is. I am eating dinner with two men who want to date me and we all seem to realize this at the same time, an awkward silence filling the air. At least we have found a relatively private table so that nobody will notice them and cause a scene.

"When did you get back?" Paul breaks the silence while taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"This afternoon." John says.

Paul seems to avoid asking why he is back and I think we all know why. "So what did you guys do this afternoon?" he asks and although unnoticeable to most, I can hear the irritation behind his voice.

John smirks and I silently pray that he isn't going to try to upset Paul, but God doesn't seem to be listening to my prayers today. "We got some coffee, went out to a club, had some drinks..." he lists.

"Oh." Paul says looking down and taking in another puff of smoke from his cigarette. He reaches down to my hand to hold it with his, turning to give me a sweet smile which melts my heart. I love him, not John. I can't love John. I mean, I can't love them both.

John kicks me under the table and I break eye contact with Paul to give him an eye roll. John just smiles back.

Soon, the waiter arrives with our food and drinks. Paul keeps his promise of not drinking alcohol around me but John doesn't care and is drinking a glass of wine, but I'm okay with that. I could really use a drink right now, but I won't. Although, I feel like tonight isn't going to end well for some reason.

"Are you guys headed for Oxford then?" John says.

"Yeah, we are going to leave tomorrow." Paul answers, surprising me.