~ Jalbert One Shots ~

~ Unknown Number ~

Um here you go..

~~~

Albert's POV:

Buzz

Buzz

bUzz

bUZzzZZZ.

"Jesus Christ!" I curse as I blindly grab my phone that was on the night table. "Damn, it's 3 AM, Who the hell texts me at 3 AM?!" I curse as I sleepily look to see who it was.

Unknown Number.

I narrow my eyes as I became intrigued on who it was.

Unknown number: Hiya d00d

AlbertoBitch: Who tf r u?

Unknown number: your sugar daddy ;)

AlbertBitch: WTF?!

Unknown number: Lmao chill. I'm Jake. Who r u?

AlbertoBitch: How tf did u get my number u perv.

Unknown Number: Well, nice to meet you too, " How tf did u get my number u perv".

AlbertoBitch: First of all, where did u get my number. Second of all, y do u have to txt me at 3 AM?

Unknown Number: Idk I'm bored dude. I found this piece of paper with your number on it behind the back of that van people use to kidnap children with.

AlbertoBitch: ur weird

Unknown Number: and ur adorable

AlbertoBitch: Bye

Unknown Number: k bye bby ;)

AlbertoBitch: Don't call me that

Unknown Number: k ;)

~ skipplies ~

"Hiya my little baby little smol teddy heart honey bunny-"

"Lana. No. Stop."

"Fine!"

I slowly inched away from her as we walked together down some crowded park. "Ey Lana, why are we here again?" I mumbled loudly. "Because I'm supposed to meet a guy here" She said loudly, looking above the crowd to look for this man. She then waved her hand, trying to get someone's attention.

"Hey James!!" She yelled from across the crowd, getting some guy in a black sweatshirt's attention. He smiled softly and strode towards her, hugging each other. I kinda stood there in awe, just looking at my girlfriend hugging another man.

IN MY FACE.

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, and did that loud cough that get's people's attention. They finally separated and he looked at me. "Hey. I'm Albert. I'm Lana's girlfriend." I say, exaggerating some words. After I said that he looked quite uncomfortable. "What? Something wrong??" I ask the young man. He shook his head rapidly. "Good" I whisper, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Shall we get some coffee, gentleme- I mean lady's and gentlemen?" I say, pointing towards the café.

"S-Sure" they both say. We all walked casually to the café, and I opened the door for them.

"Hullo, I'd like a green tea with extra sugar and extra lemonade" I said to the worker. "Uhm, Sir-"

"Just do it."

"Okay?" She whispered nervously as she added that to our order. "You sir?" She asked to James. "I'd like to Vanilla Frappe" he said. "Same for me!" Lana added in. "Okay! That'll be $8.95 please!" The cashier said.

"Here ya go" I said, shoving the money in his hand, "keep the change" I winked.

I sauntered towards a table for three and casually sat down. "So~" I said to both of them, tapping my nails on the table which caused suspense.

dInGGgggg~

I looked down on my phone and I saw that weird number again.

???: wot up bby ya suga Daddy is bACK

AlbertBitch: dood y do u call me that

???: bc I have the right to.

AlbertBitch: r u gay??

~ No reply ~

I look up from my phone and under the table. I see Lana holding hands with this James dude. Ok then..

AlbertBitch: * Insert a picture of Lana and James holding hands under a table *

AlbertBitch: I just caught my girlfriend holding hands with another dude.

???: woah

AlbertBitch: Yeah ;-;

???: u should hook up with me ;)

AlbertBitch: no. I ain't gay boi

???: * Insert a Caliente picture of Jake *

That picture really caught me by surprise, which caused me to go...

"PFFFFFFFFFT!"

"Um, Albert? Are you okay?" Asked Lana, who was concerned.

"I-Uh, Yeah... Damn... it's nothing" I stuttered, hiding my phone. She just shrugged and kept talking to this James dude.

"Ey Lana." I said casually. "Yeah?" She asked sweetly.

"I'm breaking up with you. You can have James. Maybe I'll be even nice enough to leave your stuff on the porch!" I said, grinning widely. She just scoffed. "You wouldn't" she snapped, "your nothing without me"

"Oh, we'll see about that" I whispered.

I grabbed my tea and walked out the door, smirking. I opened my phone and texted this Jake person.

AlbertBitch: Ey, wot u say bout' hooking up?? ;)

~ Fin ~

Hi

Bye

:3

This is bad okay bye