28 Days | Jungkook ✔

The Game

     *TRIGGER WARNING: THERE WILL BE GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF SELF HARM IN THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS TOPIC, I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU TO STOP READING*

       "Jungkook...do you cut yourself?"

Jungkook quickly pulls his arm away, pulling his sleeve over the wound.
"No I accidentally scratched myself at the gym. It's nothing to worry about." He averted his eyes.
I grab his arm again but Jungkook doesn't push me away. I pull his sleeve up and just stare at the cut.

"I don't know much about self harm, but this looks like it was engraved with a knife."
"Self harm? C'mon now you're just making me sound like an emo loser." Jungkook scrunches his nose.

"Jungkook, there's nothing to be ashamed about. There's so many kids who do it. But it's possible to change. It doesn't mean there's anything weird about you."
      He sighs. "If you knew my family, anything that deviates you from the norm, makes you weird."
      "I won't judge you, Jungkook. I can listen to your story," I assured him.
      "Okay, but not here." Jungkook gestures to the restaurant full of people.

       He packs up the food, pushes my wheelchair, and we go up the elevator to the hotel suite. We finally arrive and I sit on one of the couches. Jungkook sits on the one across from me.

I break the silence.
"So how did it all start?"
        "Well I don't want to give you every detail of my life...but it all started with a game," Jungkook sighs.
"A game? What type of game?" I was genuinely intrigued.
"It was years back..I was 14 at the time and kids were playing this game called Nerve," Jungkook explains.

       "That sounds familiar....."
      "It's a game where you place your palm on the table with your fingers apart and use a pencil to stab back and forth between the fingers, trying not to hit your fingers."
      "Oh I do remember that game! You were the school's reigning champ...until the school banned it."

       "Yeah, I was," Jungkook laughs.
       "Anyways I enjoyed the thrill of playing and the people applauding me. But I thought I needed to take it up a notch."
       "Take it up a notch? Nerve sounds dangerous enough as it is. How would you make it harder?" I asked.

       "Uh, I started using a knife..."
        My eyes widen. "Jungkook, you are such an idiot! Are you for real? Why would you subject yourself to that danger?" I snapped at him.
        "I got so popular at parties...I was only a 14 year old freshman and yet all the seniors would watch and cheer me on. But people started getting bored of me just using a pencil..."

      "So you thought using a knife would impress them." I rubbed my forehead and sighed.
      "Yeah, and my intentions weren't bad, I just loved the attention. I wasn't just Namjoon's little brother, I got my own name for myself! I was the life of the party."

       I roll my eyes. "Okay. So then what happened?"
      "So of course I wasn't going to try the knife out at the party first-what if I messed up and embarrassed myself? I practiced at home. I got it right the first few times, but then I accidentally cut the side of my finger-"

       "Jungkook! That should have been a sign for you to stop." 
        "It really should have been. And it hurt and I was scared. But this pain finally distracted from me from my other pain ..." Jungkook begins fumbling his thumbs.
       "What other pain?" I asked.

       Jungkook got up and stretched. "Never mind."
      "What other pain? Why can't you tell me?" I begged to know.
       "Even telling you this much was difficult. Can you not push me?" He asked.
         "You're right...I'm sorry. But if you don't mind me asking, how did accidentally hurting yourself evolve into you purposely hurting yourself?"