Overrated | The Voice France / MIKA & OC

7.5 - Finals. The Show, Part 1

As a freshly-hired special guest musician, I hang out backstage pretty much all the time, so the only conversations I have with my ex-coach and rivals are minutes before they go to perform. The little show with all four of the team talents, then Gaspard's solo number (Jacque Brel, wow. While I'm surprised with Mika's choice, I have to admit, it works perfectly), and his duet with Kylie Minogue (I get to say hi to her. Like any other celebrity, I would imagine, she smiles at me with a smile of someone who will forget about it in a few minutes), which he performs like a real pop star, his charisma magic on full force - and then Mika walks out on stage with him and me.
I swear that I hear a few quiet surprised exclamations from the audience, and no matter how we tried to hide my appearance, the weight of their gaze on me is almost tangible.
It's just my imagination, I have to tell myself as I watch Mika and his finalist stand together at the center of the stage. He turns around to check on me, and I give him a reassuring nod, to be awarded with a little smile.
- And we're live, - I hear the same old familiar voice in my head piece.
The intro is on me. I squeeze my hands, shake them to relieve the slight nervousness, and kick it off with the first chord. An electronic keyboard joins me soon after.
I find out that it's easier when you're not in the center of attention, and there's a whole band playing along with you. I let my mind wander and look around, appreciating the chemistry between Mika and Gaspard. They move and sing so differently, yet they still manage to harmonize very well. Although even the little of the stage choreography they had to follow makes the Wizard irritated, as I can clearly see in the tension in his rehearsed steps and turns.
They finish with a big hug, and, without giving me a chance to leave backstage, call me to join them. I leave the piano, and as I walk into the spotlight, the audience gets louder. Four warm arms wrap around me.
I hear Nikos' surprised "O-la-la" as he comes up on stage.
- Once the Voice Family - always a family, - he laughs, and gives me a greeting kiss, - Hope to see you soon at the Voice La Suite, with an album or a show.
With so much sudden attention, all I can do is wave my hand shyly and jog backstage with audience cheering behind me.
- Thunder-stealer! - Flori teases when she catches me in the corridor, on her way to the stage, - It was supposed to be Gaspard's show!
- I regret nothing, - I respond with a smirk, - He called it up on himself. Besides... No one is stealing anything. No one can, really. Not from him.
- Now I'll get to sing knowing he's the real star of the show! Thanks for the encouragement, - she grins sarcastically.
- Do you really need it? I was sure they got you to sign a contract already. Anyway, break a leg. And no more jokes about mine!
We exchange a short back rubbing, and she runs away, while I finally get to reunite with the ex-talents, Gas and others.

A surprisingly serious conversation awaits me when I join my ex-teammate on the couch.
- Have you ever wondered why you didn't pursue music sooner? - Gaspard hands me a can of coke. Now that his part is done, he's already taken off the jacket, having tied it around his waist (sacrilege!) and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. No respect for the designers.
- Of course I did, - I reply, - I wanted to, at least. But you know how it happens. When your dream is just as big as the doubt of others. They say you're not enough skilled, not enough talented, not enough lucky, not enough everything. And no matter how real was your dream, it becomes less and less reachable over time. And the more you doubt it, the less chance you'll ever try it. It's starting to feel like you've already tried everything and failed, while in reality, you haven't done a single step. And you just live with it.
- Well this is a very cowardly mindset, - he shakes his head, - If you're ready to give up so easily, it wasn't your big dream in the first place.
- It's not cowardly, it's insecure.
- I know what I'm talking about. Low self esteem and anxiety has nothing to do with it. If it's the only thing you want in life, then you go for it no matter what. Failures don't stop you, you just try again.
- You're talking about a person who has confidence. Not everyone has it.
- I'd rather call it despair. I mean, if you don't have anything else to fight for, all you have to do is fight.
Maybe he's right, in a way. I've heard many stories of people who tried for years before they succeeded - because they had nothing to lose.
- Well... Now I'm here, - I say, - And I'm not going anywhere. I have nowhere else to go.
He raises a brow at me, folding arms on his chest.
- But your friends are still back in Cannes. You had a job there, didn't you?
- Do you seriously think anyone could go back to normal life after all this? Especially mine. Sometimes I wonder how I survived there in the first place, my life was so depressing!
- So what held you back from quitting that life before?
- Nobody told me it was possible. I saw my mom sink into this hole of life after my father left. Living in France was her dream, and what's become of it? You called it despair - yes, that's what I felt pretty much all the time. You just get used to it and ignore it. And seek for other things to make your life brighter.
- Like what? Alcohol?
- Not that much. Pop stars, mostly. You don't know how addictive it can get. But enough of that. I'm out of that life, at least, for now.
- Well... Let's see how far you'll go,  Gaspard agrees, finally, - And I'm willing to walk that road with you. If you wish, of course. Cheers.
He makes a short sip from his can and turns away, hands still on his chest. I realize that the same tension that I saw during his performance is still here, it's even more obvious.
- How can you drink this? - he wonders out loud, - It's so fizzy, you don't feel the taste! And it doesn't help if you're nervous or sad, it just gives you a brain freeze.
- You're nervous? - my turn to raise eyebrows, and his turn to roll his eyes.
- Of course I am, dummy! It's a goddamn show finale, I didn't get this far to lose! It would be a huge let down if I did.
- And you're saying this to me, who quit the show one step before the finale? - I pretend to be offended. He laughs at my exaggerated expression.
- Yes, because you're a weirdo. How in the world did it click you suddenly that you don't want the victory?
- Well, maybe because that same world, including Mika, was telling me not to have much hope for it since the beginning of the show?
- Fair enough.