My Daughter, Audrey [ON HOLD]

Not the Same

Peter and Jennie arrived home that evening with swollen eyes and weighted hearts.  Neither of them could find a hopeful word to lighten the situation and if either of them spoke, it was only to describe how much they missed the girl.  Peter, having experienced the confusion of abandonment, was especially affected.   He hardly spoke to Jennie and preferred to shut himself in the room Audrey had used when she had stayed at Jennie’s.   Jennie, on the other hand, kept her mind off of Audrey by busying herself with irrelevant things such as cutting out coupons, rearranging every décor in the house, and washing the dishes—some twice over.   That night, Jennie lured Peter out of the room with the delicious sound of cooked beef and potatoes.   Peter came out of his room, his hair smashed and untamed from sleeping on a favored side.   He took a seat and perched his elbows on the table.

               Jennie pulled up a chair across from him and organized the serving dishes in front of them.  She looked up at Peter once or twice, seeing if they could make eye contact, but he was lost in the former events.  Jennie wiggled the table, but Peter appeared unconscious towards her.  Jennie pursed her lips and knocked the table top hard enough for one of Peter’s elbows to fall off and for his chin to knock the table.

               Angered at more of the pain in his face, Peter shouted, “Wot was that for?”

               “Listen, here, Peter, we got to deal with this!  I’m not going to be around a gloomy person all day. Audrey isn’t here!  You have to face it that she’s on a plane back to the States!”  Jennie paused to take up her dinner napkin and smudge away her tears, bringing streaks of eyeliner across her temples.  “You’ve got to have control over yourself.  Audrey wouldn’t have you sulking around like this.”

               “I wish she never came,” Peter said sadly, and somewhat in a childish tone.  But one under stress and sadness says things they don’t mean, but only feel like saying.  

               “What was that?  What do you mean?”

               “If I neva laid eyes on her, I wouldn’t be loosen her so quickly!”  Peter stood up abruptly, upsetting the bowl of potato gravy.

               Jennie stood up, too, and looked at the seeping mess on the wooden floor.  “Look what you did!  Now, I’ve got to clean something else, too!  Go to your room, I don’t want to see your face!”

               “In all fairness, love, I don’t wanna see yers either!  Sod off!”  Peter knocked the chair aside and stormed to his room to finish his battle.

               “Don’t you dare use those words with me, Peter Holmes!  I will not allow you to treat me like this!”

               “Ya pretend it’s all dandy, don’t ya?  Maybe it’s easy for ya to lose someone ya love, but it’s not for me!”

               “Do you even hear yourself, you dirty rat!  You think I’m all fine with this?  That all my smiles and warm pats on your shoulders mean I’m alright?  Well, I’m bloody well not!  I am scared, I am upset, I just want to get away from all of this!  I don’t know how we’ll raise the money unless I sell my soul again, and I promised I wouldn’t after promising myself to you!”   Jennie, as she always did when she cried, pressed the back of her hand against her trembling lips and searched for a place to shed her tears.

               Peter realized what a bully he was being to her, and he knew he couldn’t do anything without Jennie.  He couldn’t allow his anger at his previous lover to drive away his one, true love.  He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.   She squirmed and tried to turn away, but his persistent strength soon had her weeping on his shoulders.  “I’m sorry, lass, I’m sorry, Jennie.  I love you.  I do.”

               “I know you do, Peter.  It’s not the same without her, I know.  But, we will make it out somehow.”

               “Yes, dearest, we will.”  Peter kissed her hard on the forehead and clung to her as if she was his rescuer.   She was, in fact, Peter’s tunnel to redemption from his past that held more mysterious than Jennie was even aware of.