Suicidal

School

Lee Yoonji

'Sometimes, you just need a little push from someone or something. And that one push can get you anywhere. Like a wake up call to the desires of your heart. And after the push, you'll know what you really want.' Mr. Lee Jong Suk said.

A push, eh?

'Like what happen to Summer in the story. That situation pushed her from what she is right now.' He said.

His class is the reason why I always chose to wake up early. He tell things that somehow made me think.

*RRRIIINNGGG

'Okay class, dismissed. Submit your critique papers next week. That's all.' Then he left.

Some students went outside and some decided to stayed. And for me, I chose the first one.

Well, I'm hungry.

I decided to grab some food to the cafeteria and I will go to the rooftop. I really need to unwind for awhile.

I grabbed my notebook and went outside. I plugged my earphones while walking to the hallway where the cafeteria is.

As I entered, I saw a lot of students. Some are alone and others are with there friends.

I went to the food stand and grabbed some ham and cheese Panini and a warm coffee in can. I went to the counter to pay. While the old lady counting my change, I looked around the cafeteria. Students are making happy and lively noises.

They say that when you eat with people you're comfortable with or people that close to your heart, the food will taste so much better.

When was the last time I ate with them without feeling guilty? If only I can be brave to tell them how I feel.

'Miss?' I looked at the old lady in front of me. 'I said, your change.' Then she move her hand towards me.

'Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you.' I bowed to her as I took my change.

After taking my food, I walked out from the cafeteria.

I'll just eat this at the rooftop.

I went to the staircase leading to the rooftop. As I opened the door, a gentle morning breeze blown towards me.

I badly need this.

I walked towards balcony. I rested my arms in there. I inhaled deeply. I open the warm coffee in can and drank it. I looked at the sky. It's a clear blue sky. I closed my eyes.

Where do I belong? Can I really do this? What if I'm really not for here? What if I don't belong here? What will—

I got startled by the loud sound and it interrupted my thoughts. I looked where the sound came from. I saw someone at the door.

And it's the blonde guy yesterday. I looked at him weirdly. He's panting hard.

'What are you doing here?' I asked glared at him. Remembering, what happen yesterday. He's catching up his breath.

'You...' He said while pointing at me. I faced him and looked weirdly at him. 'What are you doing here?' He asked.

I looked at him in the eyes and I leaned my back on the pavement. I said nothing and just drank my coffee. He looked behind me and back to my face.

'You're going to do it again?' He asked.

Ah... So this is what he thinks.

I finished my coffee and put it down near my feet. I adjust my hoodie and I looked at him in a bored way. His eyes are glued to me and watched me intently. I turned my back at him and climbed to the pavement.

'He– hey!' I heard him. I stood on the pavement and faced him again. I looked at him intently.

He looked like he's going to faint.

'Please, come down here.' He gently said but I saw how his hands trembles. I'm still looking at him. 'Don't do this—'

'Why do you care?' I cut off him.

He looked stunned. For his surprise, I jumped off, on his side and walked to him. I stood in front of him and looked at him straight in the eyes. He cautiously looked at me while I was looking at him intently.

What's his catch? He's really annoying.