Suicidal

Home

Lee Yoonji

I was standing outside our home.

I am finally here.

In normal situations, a person who's gone for long and came back to his or her home will feel delighted and happy.

But that's not me at all.

I'm not normal.

I looked around our house. I don't know why but I felt weird while looking around our house, like it was my first time here.

Maybe it's the old memories, that's why I feel like this.

I'm having a deep thoughts and I didn't notice someone opened the front door.

'Noona?' I looked at the owner of the voice. And I saw a young man at the door. He looks like 15.

I just stared at him. He walked to the gates and opened it. He gave me his brightest smile.

'Noona! You're here!' He said. I frowned a little.

'Yongjin?' I asked. He nods and pulled me inside.

'I'm so happy you're here. Mom and Dad will be happy too!' I halted when he said that and it stopped him on his tracks.

He looked back at me, confused.

'Noona?' He said. I blinked my eyes and looked at him.

'Uh... Is Dad inside?' I asked him. He looked at me fully.

'He's not here yet. But Mom is here. Let's go now.' He smiled and snatch my bag from me and went inside. I stared at his retreating back and followed him inside.

As we enter, I noticed that nothing has change.

The old wooden shoe rack beside the door.

The wooden cabinet where the picture frames are located.

The big brown sofa on the living room is still there. Where I always play video games with Yongjin.

Speaking of that kid, he grew up so much.

'Mom! Yoonji-noona is here!' He announced. I heard someone from is coming from the kitchen.

My hands got sweaty. I don't know why I feel so nervous.

Maybe it's the guilt feeling.

I saw my mom came out from the kitchen wearing her apron.

'Yoonji!' She walked towards me and hugged me tightly.

I gently patted her back while she hugged me tightly.

'Aigoo~ My daughter. I missed you~!' She smiled at me. I looked at her and gave her a small smile.

'Hi, mom. I missed you too.' I said to her.

When was the last time I saw her? Oh, right.

It was the time when I smiled widely at her saying goodbye and feeling excited going to the university I thought would be the place I belong to.

Look at me now.

'What's wrong? Are you okay?' My mom asked. I just stared at her.

'Nothing. I'm fine. I'll just go to my room.' I said to her. She just smiled.

'Take a rest. I'll call you later.' She said and went back to the kitchen.

'I'll help you noona.' Yongjin smiled beside me.

We went upstairs and entered the room. I looked around the room. I noticed that nothing changed.

'Mom doesn't want to touch your things. That's why, nothing has changed in here.' Young Jin said as if he read my thoughts.

He sat on my bed after placing my bag beside it. He looked at me, smiling and looking expectant.

'Noona. How are you?' I looked at him. He shyly looked down. 'Well, it's been a year since I last saw you.' He said.

I noticed how Yongjin changed. He still looked a baby to me, but you'll noticed he's a young man now.

'I'm fine.' And sat beside him. He looked at me. I noticed that his eyes are sparkling.

'Well, how's Seoul? Is it nice there? How's the weather? I heard they've got a lot of buildings there.' He continuously asked. I gave him a small smile.

'Yeah, there's a lot of buildings there and people are always busy.' I told him. He hummed and nodded.

'How about you noona? How's life there? How's school?' I looked down on my lap.

It's suffocating. And I feel like dying.

'Noona?' I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

'Can we talk later? I'm a bit tired from the travel.' He looked at me smiling a little.

'Sorry. I'm just happy you're already here. I'll let you rest.' I muttered thanks and he stood up.

When he was on the door he looked back at me.

'Oh, and Sohee-noona will be here also. Dad's going to pick her up for dinner.' He said and closed the door.

I just looked on the door after he said that.

Now I feel restless.

[Hi~! Thanks for reading! Any thoughts or reactions about this chapter?

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