Bloody Hell just fall in love already!

A Very Fleet Street Christmas

The rest of the night was a blur. One big, scary, upsetting blur that Nellie wished she could erase from her memory. After she woke up screaming out Todd's name in her sleep, she noticed the cold, sticky feeling on her legs. Looking down, she was horrified to see blood all over her skirts, staining the fabric of her blankets and sheets. She wasn't sure if it was just what normally happens every month or if she'd lost a child, but God how she'd hoped it was the former. Within less than a minute of yelling the name, Sweeney Todd was standing over her, panting and desperately trying to get her to respond to him. Her head was spinning, and his voice sounded faint when he spoke, almost far away.

"Nellie . . . Oh my God, Nell! You're bleeding, wot's happened? Is it the baby? Are you hurt?" Todd cupped her face as his eyes frantically searched her body for any sort of wound, but he found nothing. The blood came from inside. "Nellie please answer me, are you in pain? Wot's happened?" Tears began to prick in his eyes as the woman he loved just shook in his arms and stared helplessly into his eyes. "Nell, please answer me! C'mon love you gotta tell me wot's happened." After a few more moments of his panicking, she finally spoke.

"I'm . . . I'm fine, it, it wasn't a baby. Just a false alarm after all, like I'd said. It wasn't a baby, it was . . . It was never a baby . . ." She spoke calmly, quietly but her voice was shaky, and her pale face was even whiter than usual.

"Nell, your face is white and you're shaking like a leaf, maybe I should bring in a doctor."

"No, no don't be silly sweetheart" her voice was soft, almost out of breath. "Just scared me is all, only thing a doctor would do is come in and laugh at me for panicking over something that 'appens to me every month. I was scared at first when I woke up, stressed myself out, I got my nerves all worked up for nothin'. Now, why don't you run me some hot water and I can get myself cleaned up, aye love?" She stood from her bed and stripped it of the messy sheets and blankets, throwing them into a nearby basket. Sweeney stood frozen for a few seconds, very shaken up over the whole matter. Nellie knew that worried look better than anything. Without saying anything, she smiled warmly at the man and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before returning to her task of making up the bed with new, clean fabrics.

Todd was reluctant to leave her, even if only for a few minutes. But he nodded and slowly lagged out of the bedroom, a strange empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. So she had never been pregnant in the first place. She wasn't carrying his child. They wouldn't parent a baby together, wouldn't have something that was theirs; a little piece of both of them combine. Todd knew he should be relieved, especially since Nellie probably was. She didn't seem too keen on the idea of being pregnant when it was a possibility, but there was still a tang of pain he felt when he thought of it. A small part of him, a part he would certainly never admit to anyone, had found himself fond of the idea of having a baby with his dark hair and Nellie's perfect curls. A baby with those big, twinkling eyes of hers. He never thought he'd enjoy the idea again of walking through a park with a woman by his side, pushing along a stroller together. But when Nellie told him she might be pregnant with their child, something within him sparked again. A small flame that hadn't been lit in a very long time somehow managed to catch the tiniest bit of fire. And now that flame had been blown out, stamped down before the embers even had the chance to ignite a fire. He was left, again, with that same empty feeling deep within his core, the same feeling that reminded him he was in love with someone who didn't love him in return. Most likely someone who never could.

~~

A few weeks passed by, and everything seemingly went back to normal. Well, as normal as things on Fleet Street ever get. Autumn froze into winter and everyone in London bustled around getting ready for the holidays. Nellie and Sweeney decided not to talk about the pregnancy scare. Neither one of them had to say it, but they both knew that each of them felt it was one of those things best left unspoken about. Nellie still was unsure how she felt about all of it, and the scare of thinking she'd lost a child, even though the scare only lasted a few minutes, was one that would continue to haunt her. Sweeney Todd, sticking to his usual ways, refused to tell her how he truly felt about the situation. How he wasn't relieved, not at all. He didn't care that they would've had to spend more money, or that people in the neighborhood would talk. He didn't even care if he would've lost business. He cared about her. A small part of him tricked himself into believing that if she actually had their child, maybe it would make her see him differently. Admire him more, maybe she would've even reconsidered marrying him. Although he wouldn't want her to become his wife just because of the baby. Some part of Todd fooled himself into thinking she'd actually fall in love with him if they would've had a child together.