Double-Edged Sword - $UICIDEBOY$

Dialing Him Up

    Eventually, you took a bus out of Texas and headed to Arizona. You'd ended up wanting to check out the rugged place. Each state further into the dust was another rebellion against a structured life. Arizona was close to a wasteland in perspective, but the occasional passerby was usually nice or wise interestingly wise. The concept of "home" became tents and trees and southwestern hospitality. On one final occasion you even sheltered with a hitchhiker who had no tent for herself. She and you joked all night about each other's pasts, and you felt like you knew her so well by the morning. Her teenage struggles seemed so relatable, and when she spoke about chasing a dream, she became almost inspiring. But, she had no phone and no address, so when you both parted ways that next afternoon, you knew she'd never be seen again.

    What a false fucking hope.

    She'd gotten into your backpack while you napped and stolen a decent amount of cash.

    As in, nearly all of it.

    You cursed her name for hours until it was lost from your lips and memory forever. Rage cleansing perhaps. Hours of panic set in, because life had instantly become uncertain. The cash had been enough to start renting an apartment. It has been enough to start a fresh life.

    But, digressing...

    The rejection of convention began to crumble before your eyes. It had all relied on money and constructed dreams anyways, yes? Now what? You'd been everywhere, done plenty of things, and seen so many people. And to what end? Where was it ultimately leading? Where was the grand finale? Originally, it laid within the stack of taunting money. But now? Obliterated.

    Ah, but the number.

    The number had echoed in your head for this whole time, but you resisted it. Your opposition was partly fueled by anxiety over calling Ruby. But, his request was to call if you needed help, and this loss of direction seemed to be a cry for help in itself. The measly scraps of funds left carried you back to Texas.

    Within a bleak motel room, you plugged the phone into the wall and waited for it to charge again. The screen lit up, the air went still, and you sifted through the contacts. Seeing the joking "Rub Rub" brought back every memory of that night and each emotion. The exhilaration and surrealism haunted you still. Had it been a dream? It couldn't have been with the evidence in that very phone.
    Your fingers nervously tapped the number and you pressed the phone to your ear. By now, they must have finished off their Global Epidemic Tour... You didn't really want to come off as a nuisance...

    When the ringing ceased and the other end of the call crackled to life, the air went from still, to pure electricity.

    "Yo, uh, hello?"

    Your throat clenched painfully, "R- ...Ruby?"
    He seemed nervous for a moment, like a stray fan had caught his number somehow, "Yeah..? That's me..."
    "It-", you coughed, "It's me, from Dallas... the girl on the roof? We shared a blunt..?"

    Silence from the phone burned your ear for too long, "Wha-, yo- YO- I though... I though I lost the paper last second when it fell from my hand- I-"
    "No-no, I found it by accident and... I've been keeping it safe in case..."

    You were utterly lightheaded and couldn't feel the floor under your feet anymore. Something on Ruby's end shuffled before he spoke again, "Hey, I kept my word tho I did'un forget about you, right?"
    You gasped out a weak laugh, "Y-yeah, I didn't forget either. I uh..."
    "Wait, yeah, something up?"
    "Yeah... I uh, went out to Arizona for awhile, but I'm lost and I'm not gonna have anywhere to go now that I'm back in Dallas.. I don't think-" you paused, "that I have the funds to catch a ride anywhere else... I didn't want to call and say that so quickly... But, time is running low and- and this bitch snatched it and-"
    "No, I'm glad ya called. I'd rather ya get sum' help. Look, I actually finished the tour up 'while ago so like.. hell. Imma get to you somehow tho'."
    You could have cried from the sudden words. They poured into your body and your face heated up, "Wait no- really? I don't want you going too far outta your way. You don't really know me that well so-"
    He scoffed, "Nah. I left that number for ya. I wanted this. Ya back in Dallas right?"
    "yeah-huh. In Dallas again."
    "Any place we can meet...?"
    "Outside the House of Blues...? Like the first time?"
    "I'll fly out dude- watch me. Imma be there, jus' you wait n' see."
    "Look man, I can't thank you enough for the help I can't even-"
    "Stop. I'll see ya there."