Double-Edged Sword - $UICIDEBOY$

Crimson Kisses

     It seemed that only mere minutes passed before the silence was interrupted.

     "Y/N?"

You hadn't been sleeping anyways, but you laid still and hoped Ruby would stay away.

"Y/N, wake up."

You let out a fake sleep-mumble and rolled over.

His hand rocked you by your shoulder until you cooperated and sat up hesitantly. He backed away and flipped on the light. You winced and rubbed your eyes. You immediately began to cry when you looked at Ruby. The remaining mascara on your lashes became that familiar oily sludge all over again, running down your face right away. Through the blurry mess of tears, you saw the gruesome state Ruby was in. Scrim must have woken up multiple times on tangents that Ruby had to "diffuse".
His face was battered with faint purple bruises and a triplet of ragged nail marks, dried blood coated one of his ears, his arms had been roughly scratched up, his knuckles were black and blue, and a general dullness caked his skin. He was much worse than before. You couldn't comprehend what had happened in the last few hours to him at all.
He immediately hugged you even though it must have caused immense pain. You could feel the tension in his muscles as though they had all frayed and were hanging onto each other by awful threads. Yet, he clung to you and breathed with harsh, stuttering gasps. You buried your face into his neck, careful to not let your cheek brush up on any sensitive damage.
"I figured you weren't coming back."
"You... know I left?"
"I had to get out of the room and grab water- checked on you and saw you were gone...", he pulled away and wiped some of the watery makeup from your cheek, "And you... got cleaned up and pretty?"
You wiped your cheeks quickly, "Just a 'going out' look."
"Going out where..? At this time of night? For so long- fuck I was so nervous."
You sighed and laid on your back, "I got invited out. Pouya called, I answered, and we talked."
"Oh- good, fuck I'd much rather you be with good people than at this shithole."
Your stomach flipped, remembering what you had done, "Yeah... but, what happened here?"
His eyes darkened, "He kept 'waking up'."
"What the hell is he on?"
Ruby grunted and took a seat on the edge of the bed, "Probably weed laced with something bad. I dunno. He hasn't done heavy shit in awhile."
You sighed and looked at your hands streaked in makeup, "Ruby... I don't know about things lately..."
"Wh-..what do yo mean?"
"This place is toxic..."
He sighed and massaged his ear, "Can you follow me into the bathroom? I needa wash up."

Ruby pushed his face into the sink and scrubbed it; the water in the sink ran red for a few seconds and then washed away. You cringed slightly and wondered what Scrim's condition was. Ruby yanked his head from the sink basin and wiped it with a towel until no more dried red chunks came off. He laid the stained towel down and looked at the floor.
"I was thinking about moving a few days back... I don't like it here so much either anymore. I used to- but not anymore. Scott wanted to stay though when I last asked."
You furrowed your brow, "But why?"
Ruby shrugged, "He said it'll be too much to do with so much music still needing to come out and I dunno... He didn't have the best answer for it. I just backed off. But... now I don't wanna back off. It's never too chill here anymore. I grew up having, to be in danger, so did Scott. The least I can do now is treat myself."
You pulled your knees up to your chest, "Feels like a lotta tension is just everywhere. It's fucking up the whole atmosphere."
Ruby groaned subtly while lowering his bruised body to the floor next to yours, "How was this night out? Gotta be better than mine in here."
You couldn't even think to lie, "It was wonderful."
"Why is that?"
"I... just got to have a lotta fun and not worry about people or things. They warmly welcomed me and we did whatever. We went to some stupid park past the city and chilled.", you felt your face heat up remembering each event.
Ruby picked up on your blushing, "Oh- uh, chilled... mhm."
You inhaled sharply and turned away, "NO- not like- uh-"
Ruby laughed genuinely. His voice was a little rough still, but he laughed to your complete surprise, "I wouldn't be mad. I let go of jealously. And honestly... I sat back and looked at things from your perspective earlier tonight. Scott was dry heaving on the bedroom floor and blood was dripping into my eye... and... I just thought how much pressure you're in to make sure everyone is 'okay'. Either gonna upset me or Scott, maybe upset us both, tip a scale, or give up... I'm sorry I brought you into this mess-"
You turned back and grabbed Ruby by the shoulders, "Why are you apologizing? You didn't need to take me in, and you didn't need to welcome me for this long. This has been some sort of crazy dream come true to not only meet you both but... get closer with you both and live here. It isn't the best, but this is something I never imagined could happen."
Ruby's eyes glazed over and got puffy, "I'm tryna not cry right now- dammit.", he chuckled as a tear streaked down his cheek and spotted his shirt.
You gently leaned over and rested your face into the crook between his shoulder and neck, "Shh..."

Ruby's arms wrapped around you weakly, "I'm gonna sound like a romantic fucking asshead for this but... When I met you on the roof and I got a glimpse of your life and the fact that it was still so unsorted and broken... and then you offered me the blunt and treated me like you'd treat any normal person... I just wanted to give you a good, normal life somehow. It was like some stupid, big epiphany. I thought 'I'm gonna save this girl'....", he coughed softly and squeezed you harder, "I thought 'I'm gonna love this girl'...."
You froze and stared down at his shoulder, "And.... did you succeed?"
He pulled your face off of him and looked you in the eyes. You took in his appearance up close in its terrible completeness. He had taken the marks on his face for your sake. He really had thrown himself into the line of fire. His cheeks were bruised and clawed. His lip swelled on one side with a split. His ears were red and irritated. The hollows of his eyes were darkened from both stress and a stray knuckle. His hair was a tangled mess thrown about his face. There were still sparse wet streaks down his cheeks.
"I think I did... At least the love part..."
You pushed the hair from his face, "And I can tell you that you did the saving part...If you ask me, it isn't a mess, just a little wild instead maybe?"
His eyes widened so that his irises no longer touched the lower lids. His lashes fanned outwards. He was stunning, even when broken and bruised up.
"So Ruby, are you trying to say something with that love part?"
His cheeks turned crimson almost instantly, "Do I gotta say it out loud?"
You leaned your face in towards his, "It would be a little dangerous to say it out loud, but no one cares in the moment, right?"
He smiled so that you could see the dimples of his cheeks, "You're a little shit- goddammit. You already know it, but I love you. Okay?"
You scoffed and kissed him as tenderly as you could to not anger his split lip. You caught the mild taste of metallic blood on your tongue and shivered. He held you firmly enough so that you kept going. When you were able to pull away, you saw that the split in his lip had reopened anyways.
"Oh fuck-", you stood up to find a wash cloth.
He chuckled as you scrambled for the first one you could find and ran it under the sink. When you looked into the mirror, you saw a smear of dark red blood across your lips. Your lips seemingly went numb, and you could sense a deep shiver running through your neck and into your chest. You stopped and wiped it with a few fingers and stared down at it. The shimmer of it was so tantalizing and rich that you could never imagine it coming from someone so tired and beat. You guessed that people who grew up in the worst places were the most resilient. So you wiped it on the washcloth and knelt back down.
He grinned and gratefully patted it onto his lip.
"So...", he said awkwardly, "This is cool."
    You scoffed and held his face gently, "Yeah, pretty cool."