Double-Edged Sword - $UICIDEBOY$

Slipping Through The Night in The Fast Lane

    Outside, the sky remained solid black from the tinted windows. It was some time before glittery lights filled the top half of the scenery; you were passing rustic city lights. But Pouya kept driving past the lights and into sketchier places. You were glad that you only dressed up into a outfit lowkey.
Pouya pulled up into an empty parking lot at the edge of town. There were woods farther off, and parking lot surrounded by grass with a playground in the immediate distance. You looked back at the guys expecting at least mild confusion, but Ghoste had a broad smile.
Tanner burst out of the door and left it open for everyone. Shakewell dragged himself out and sighed heavily. Ghoste waited for you to exit and then followed.
Pouya was walking with Nick towards the park and hiked up his pants. You followed the group and moved as a collective whole. They weren't trying to be in the limelight tonight.
Pouya climbed right onto some aged monkey bars and sat on top of one of the bars. Nick sat down on one of the platforms attached to a jungle gym of obstacles which shot off into different slides. From there he was easily able to talk to Pouya. Shakewell stood by them and caught up into their conversation.
Tanner grabbed your hand and pulled you with Ghoste towards a swing set. You hoped your palms weren't sweaty and followed suite. Ghoste plopped onto a swing and grabbed the chain links immediately. Tanner guided you to a swing that sat between them. His eyes lingered with yours as you sat down, and you swore that you felt his thumb rubbing the back of your hand affectionally before he let go of you.
    You glanced down at your feet and kicked the dirt. Tanner decided to pipe up.
"So what were you spontaneously doing- according to Ghoste?", he said smiling deviously.
You nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of your neck, "Fucking the people I live with."
He laughed in a quick and loud burst, "You just fuck Ruby and Scrim for a living, and survive? That's it? Great."
You snorted and gave him a sharp glance, "Yeah fucker, I make it work."
He chuckled and rocked back and forth on the swing, "They were cool to work with on our project. I really like them... How did you even get in this situation?"
You used your heels to push the swing back far enough to still see Ghoste on the other end of your vision so he felt included, "I met Ruby on the rooftop of their concert in Dallas... I was technically homeless at the time, but by choice while I traveled the country. I knew about them, but I didn't really let it on. We chatted and I shared my blunt with him. Long story short, I got a number and I needed a place to stay when I lost all of my money from a bitch ass hitchhiker."
Tanner nodded and stared at the sky, "Crazy how life works out. And now you get double-decker-dick!"
    You reached over and smacked his shoulder with a broad smile, "Don't be so damn jealous now."
    Tanner scoffed and wiped his shoulder, "I'm just messin' with you, fuck. Don't just expose me like that."
    He was so upfront and unexpected. You loved it, just enough.
Ghoste, who had seemingly skipped over the whole interaction, spoke up and you turned your head, "That's some wild shit- one choice and your life changes... what are ya gonna do about living with them? Is it pretty much permanent now- like- what do you do?"
You shrugged, "It's still really odd. I don't know what I'm supposed to do; I just like them and they keep me around..."
Ghoste shrugged to himself, "Just my opinion here, but that sounds like it has potential to be bland."
You stared at your feet and sighed, "Maybe some days."
He stood up and went next to you, "How much have you been looking into yourself?"
You chewed your lip and avoided his eyes, "Well, when I do I'm probably having a crisis at the same time."
    Ghoste crouched so that you were forced to stare him face to face, "You look like the type of person who keeps staring out of windows lately."
You turned away, hardly able to breathe, and caught sight of Tanner lighting a blunt. The end of it smoldered as a soft iridescent orange. You glanced back into Ghoste's eyes and then to the blunt.
"Lemme hit that."
Ghoste backed off and let you puff on the blunt. Tanner grinned dreamily at you until you handed it back to him. He let the smoke encase his face and then dissolve peacefully into the soggy Louisiana air. You found it hypnotic to watch.
"Lemme hit it again."
You inhaled, but with much more enthusiasm. You made sure your lungs were smoggy before you exhaled. Something about tonight had become remarkably blissful. Perhaps it was because you were allowed to be whatever you wanted to be without much worry. Everyone liked you, but they didn't care so much as to fixate on you- maybe Ghoste but he was always a bit of an intellectual. Somewhere along the way, you had lost track of your personality to adapt to your new life. In the park, you were regaining it. Max too had helped you come out of your shell temporarily.
Tanner joked that it looked like you needed the blunt more than he did, but you kindly handed it back to him with genuine insistence until he took it. You rolled your head back and stared into the sky, letting the wavy effects of the blunt seep in slowly. Tanner tried to lean his head on the chain attachment, slipped, and grabbed it tightly while giggling. Ghoste looked out over the playground towards Pouya, Nick, and Shakewell silently.
"What are you thinking about?", you asked him.
He tightened his lips for a moment and then spoke, "The night is still young... dunno what we should do with it."
Tanner spoke up again, "I have a question for ya Y/N... so like, you live with them and fuck them, so like... is it like..."
You sighed and laughed, "It's really go-with-the-flow. Is that every invasive question you have, or is there another?"
He reached out and grabbed your wrist, "One more. So I could fuck you and it wouldn't matter?"
You yanked your hand back and felt your face grow increasingly warm, "I bet you'd like to fucking know, huh?"
Tanner grinned, "Shit girl, the look in your eyes is telling me plenty."
"Shut up.", you mumbled.
Ghoste stood up and stared into the woods. You watched him for a moment, wondering if he could feel things that you felt with the land. Maybe he had a sense of it.
Tanner's phone suddenly lit up and rang urgently. He almost fell from the swing- which you laughed at- and pressed it to his ear. He glanced up, then stood up and walked away to the edge of the playground. Ghoste hadn't looked away from the forest once. You decided to speak to him with words that you had kept mostly to myself. You rose and laid your head against his arm.
"Can I tell you a secret?"
He huffed, "Sure."
"The land is a cannibal."
He pulled away and stared at you, "Oh...?"
"It tries eating its people. Sometimes, I think it turns people against each other- other times it turns people against themselves."
His brows softened, "It does feel odd here... we're both not from around here though. But, cannibal? Like, alive?"
You raised your hands at him, "Nah just... It's a feeling- like something deep in the dirt wants to be restored to how it was."
"Do you always feel it?"
"Only sometimes, and lately I've been okay. The lake really pulled me... it's like a mouth, and I've seen someone end up in its jaws."
Ghoste turned back to the forest, "Wanna go in there?"

"Woah- can we?"
He called out towards Pouya, "AYE, how long are we gonna be here? I wanna check out the forest."
Pouya shrugged, "Go ahead, we'll call you if we're leaving."
Ghoste didn't hesitate to grab your hand and practically drag you out towards the forest. You giggled and hurried alongside him. The wind would hit you both and make his hair slap your face, to which you would yell and catch up next to his side for awhile. He didn't seem bothered by how dark the surroundings got as the forest got taller and taller in the distance. You could hardly separate out each tree until you were right on the edge of the forest. Ghoste, however, stepped right into thick web of blackness and pulled you in without looking back.
You tripped a few times right at the beginning, but Ghoste pulled you right back up onto your feet and carried on. Then, you began to understand. You could decipher the subtle shifts of the shadows and place your feet between stray tree roots and over shrubs. The once saturated wall of black melted into shades of grey with almost supernatural precision.
Ghoste glanced back at you, "There's gotta be something cool somewhere."
"I think we'll run into it if we keep going."
"So you stare at windows AND you follow the flow towards endings?"
"You're weird for figuring that first one out- I'll give you that. But I dunno what you mean about the flow."
He stepped over a fallen tree, "You wandered the country, then wandered into Ruby's and Scrim's lives, then you wandered around still with us. I bet you've wandered with others too, yeah?"
You hopped over the fallen tree, "You're, uhm, intuitive."
"I'm just reading ya. What do you think about Tanner?"
You both stumbled into a path that kept straight ahead in the current direction and instinctively took it, "He seems fun. I enjoyed the blunt."
Ghoste chuckled to himself, "You agreed with me that life is a little dull, yeah? Is that why you looked so excited when Tanner flirted with ya?"
You huffed and stopped walking so that Ghoste jerked against your arm and stared back at you.
    "Seriously? Calm down- I'm not even sure if I'm into him."
    He chuckled, "I think it was just exciting to hear a proposition, like fucking."
    You stared down at the path and took a deep breath, "You're wild. All of you guys are wild. So what if I was excited? Can you really blame me? Maybe he's a bit interesting, and that's all."
    He grinned and tugged your hand so that you tripped and stumbled in forward against his chest. You grappled for his shoulders and tried to stand up straight, but he held you down into his chest. You stared up at him and became instantly entranced by his eyes. They reflected that last bits of moonlight that reached the forest floor; each silvery speck danced when his eyes twitched.
    "Then, tell me more about this cannibalistic land, and excite me too."