As the car ride carried on, darkness devoured the rest of the bloody light. That night, no moon came out. It was a new moon, hiding in the shadow of the earth. Even the stars felt small, yet, merely a day ago, the sliver of light had illuminated the sky so intensely that Ruby had been a silver deity. How had it gotten so dark? The emptiness ate away at the light.
The air was much colder that night when you exited the car and walked up the driveway. Instead of a gentle, hazy fog that seemed to mimic the aftermath of a hot shower, only a brisk and dry breeze crossed your path. Scrim opened the door for you but didn't come in. His mannerism had become sullen and quiet.
"Aight, look, Imma go back out. I didn't need you to come with any further."
You turned back towards him, "Why not?"
He began to close the door on you, "I just have other stuff I needa do... and with no one else around."The door closed and brushed the tip of your nose. The house was dark again, and a deep emptiness welled up in your gut. Had you two not just fucked passionately? What did he even mean? You shrugged and looked down at your feet and kicked off the shoes. You turned around, wondering if Ruby was still home or if he had already left to "meet with his own guys". Inspecting the hall, you saw a strand of faint light from under his closed bedroom door. No longer did you feel as liberated and exhilarated about your night.
Using the soles of your bare feet to stay quiet, you approached the door. The light from under his door shown on your toes where you stood before knocking. The silence that followed worried you. You knocked again, harder. The darkness of the house began to envelop you, and you wished the moon was out. Mustering courage, you shoved the door open.You hadn't seen a lower sight in your life.
Ruby was laid face down on his bed, limbs splayed, high on something. Scrim may have sworn towards more sobriety, but Ruby never had made an indication for himself. You shook, fighting back tears over seeing something that mimicked death. You walked so carefully that your own heartbeat loudly filled the room. Your eyes scanned the floor, looking for evidence. What was he on? What was he on? Slowly, you knelt and touched his hair. You sighed, and laid your face into his hair. As you did, he stirred under you.
Looking up, you noticed his phone sunken into the comforter with the screen still open. You pulled the phone in and looked down. His phone was on Ghostemane's profile, and instantly your hands went numb. You checked his Instagram story, and began to cry. Ghoste had the cam on his own face, with Pouya behind him on a laptop. Ghoste was holding back a laugh. You heard your own sounds, echoing before music from the laptop increased in volume and drowned out your voice. To anyone else, it was a hilarious joke- playing music louder while casual sex could be heard in the background. To Ruby, it was a whole different vision.You never made me yours. We were never exclusive. Why are you destroying yourself over me?
Rashly, you grabbed Ruby's back and shook his body trying to wake him up. The tears wouldn't stop. Were you sad, angry, or confused? You didn't want to be responsible for his misery, or for your now cloudy future. Scrim had been through deep shit, but Ruby too was not immune. They both grew up in the 7th Ward, and they both made an equally serious suicide pact for their music. The were both fucked up. You did not know what Ruby was capable of, what he'd done and seen, how he had survived or let go...
Finally, his head rolled ever so slightly sideways.
When someone cries hard, and they don't try to wipe away the tears, the liquid dries. All that is left are trace amounts of salt that form white streaks.
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Double-Edged Sword - $UICIDEBOY$
Fanfiction☾A wandering, surreal, reader-insert fanfiction for $uicideboy$ fans☽ ✗ ..."You heard Ruby scoff to himself, 'This part of the world sorta attaches itself to people... Maybe ya belonged here... I've lived by the Causeway Bridge for as long as I can...