Double-Edged Sword - $UICIDEBOY$

Glue It Back Together, Maybe It Won't Hurt

    Your eyes cracked open in the morning, blurry and tired. Ruby was rolling into your side huffing. Instantly, you wrapped your arms around him and put your face into his back. His lungs continued to heave and he stretched. You held onto him firmly, desperate to have him back. He coughed, then rubbed his face. You heard his lips buzzing.

    "Mmmm.. hm?"
    "Ruby?"

    His body twisted and his eyes stared back at you. They were dull now, and bleak. After spending a full moment trying to comprehend everything, he inhaled sharply and pushed his body away from you. Your arms reluctantly came loose, and he tried to stand up next to the bed. His body faltered, and he bent over and grabbed the blankets to keep standing. You sat up, blankets falling from your bare body.
    He didn't need to give you context; you both knew, "You still wanna... get in my bed after all that shit?"
    You threw your arms into the air, "Don't! Don't start fighting. Can we talk?"

    He wiped his nose and stared off, "Aight."

    "You never, ever, tried to make something official or asked for anything. We fucked. Didn't you do that a lot with girls? It never mattered, I know you and $crim threw them around cause he told me. You can't NOT tell me what you want and then destroy yourself over my ignorance. If you get caught up in people like me you'll lose sight and--- yeah."

    His jaw clenched down hard, "Y/N... you're cool with us, but you dunno half of the shit that Scrim and I been through. You ain't entirely wrong, but in your head you only know I got a rap career and I'm apparently good enough to fuck."

    You decided instantly that you'd had enough of hiding back details, "Ruby, I didn't tell you this cause I knew you'd overlook me on the roof, but I've been a fan for fucking years. I don't know it all, but I know a lot. If I told you, I woulda looked like some bandwagon bitch. But out there, I was just living life from end to end. You wouldn't have seen that if I started getting all- wild."

    Somehow, your words transmitted through this hazy brain. He blinked slowly and swallowed, "A fan for years?"

    "Yeah. Aristos."

    "Aristos...", he repeated his name with some sort of astonishment.
    "But, would ya have been so kind if I let you on that I knew you already?"

    His eyes welled up but he wiped them. He seemed to swallow each word delicately, then replied with the voice of someone much more afraid than defensive, "Y-yeah, I would have looked you over cause no one fucked with me until they knew I was gettin' famous. I don't trust people that much unless they like me for what I am already. Hell, we still dunno each other that well... and you're right with the other stuff cause I gotta lot of shit to do with the music. I'm just... not the same right now cause tour was insane. I didn't need a girlfriend or some shit, I just need a warm body to hold sometimes you know? Fuck that sounds mad corny. I'm just lonely then. Scrim always kept me on my toes about it, but he wasn't there when I met you on the roof, spotting the blunt needin' a reason to talk to you."

    You smiled and cooed out the end of his sentence lyrically, "I just needed a reason to talk to youuuuu... I always liked that song. Not enough know about that one."

    He laid back down and rubbed his eyes repeatedly, "You bringing back those memories, and damn... they sting. Seeing pretty girls and tryna talk to them... then get snapped back by Scrim cause we can't trust anyone. I'm sure they all woulda been bad news, but my mind always goes and tell me that maybe there was something there. Ya know when you see a total stranger, but there's some gravity and you think that maybe that stranger has a whole story? I do that a lot. I'm not a fucking romantic, but I think that people are just... unique? For you, I was right."

    You laid your hand onto his chest, heart melting, "You should go get a breath of fresh air, cause you still look like shit man."

    He laughed weakly and rolled off of the bed again. You could see the dizziness in his eyes when he stood back up, and ignoring the chill of the air on your bare skin, you leapt up and grabbed his arm for support. He scoffed with playful pride, and took decent steps towards the door. He'd obviously done this before because his feet began to swing almost too easily. You passed by Scrim who lazily tapped at his laptop on the couch, headphones humming with beats. He nodded at you and Ruby with a lingering stare at you bare ass, and you winked at him. From how the conversation had gone, little felt like it was on eggshells.

You let Ruby roam the front yard on account of two reasons. One, he needed to begin to find himself again and two, you still needed some damn clothes. After a few minutes of watching Ruby nudge the grass with his toes, you hurried back towards your room. The TV hummed softly and caught your attention.

A woman adorned in professional clothes and pearl earrings spoke in a clear voice void of any unique quality, "While 2 were confirmed dead, there's no further details on the situation."

Scrim shook his head and you asked what happened.

"Some fucking psycho stole a car last night and drove it over the bridge, but they crashed inna some cars. Killed a few people. Apparently the stolen car just flew right over the bridge like a suicide. No body though."

You stared nervously at the TV where crumpled cars were strewn across a thin bridge. An ambulance was still on the scene, and plenty of police. Shrugging it off, you hurried back to your room; Scrim glanced up sharply from the laptop screen when you came back out with worn down leggings and your last clean t-shirt.

"You're really gonna need more the. just the clothes you already got. Prolly worked well when you were on the road traveling, but now you're here."

He looked down and typed nonchalantly again, leaving you to stand dumbfounded.

"I mean, it's not a big deal honestly- maybe some food would be good but no need to get clothes-"

He laughed and took off the headphones, "I mean... Ruby definitely needs some time to stitch himself back together. I could just take ya out to some places and set you up- and eat too."

You awkwardly brushed your hair back with your fingers, "No no, you don't have to do that honestly. I can make shit happen myself."

He closed the laptop and grinned comically widely, "Come onnnn Y/N, I insist."

Your smile and shrug was the only answer he needed.