Its been 2 days since the news of Isaiah. The funeral was small seeing as his parents were gone, I was all he had, me and James that is. I gave money to his auntie who was suppose to be adopting him next week, she was hurt as bad as I was. I offered to pay for the funeral but James took care of it. That whole day seemed unreal. I tried to take it in but the more I tried my mind didnt bare to believe it. But it was true.
It was now a Wendsday. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I took out my clothes for the day and headed to the shower. The hot water burned my skin but at the same time I needed to be punished. Loosing my pal was my fault. I hated myself. I cut the shower short before I lost total feeling inside, got myself dry and dressed than headed to the kitchen.
My dad in tray were sitting down eating cereal and stopped as I hit the bottom of the stairs. They both looked at me with sad eyes in a halfway smile. "Lucky are you okay?", dad asked, I nodded slowly before giving it a second thought. I knew I wasn't okay but they didn't need to know that. I jog to the refrigerator to get myself a glass of orange juice and grabbed a toast off the table. Each move I made, eyes were on me. I felt smothered as hell so I bounced. I needed my girl. Yea family is great for times like this but I been avoiding people til Isaiah's funeral passed in I knew Kaylah was worried about me. I approached her house in knocked, about 20 seconds she answered bombarding me with a hug.
"Ohhh my god Lucky!!".
"Baaabe I caaaant breeaaathe".
"I don't care, I missed you!".
"I miiiiiiissed yooou too".
She laughed letting me go and stared at me.
"Don't worry about the phone calls, I know you wanted to be alone, I lost someone too remember".
I nodded in grabbed her waist pulling her back into me. I smiled as she rested her head on my shoulder. This was why I loved her, she understood. We walked inside in sat on the couch.
"Do you want anything, I just made cookies!".
She smiled, I shook my head.
"Lucky, look, I know its hard but babe there's nothing you could of done".
I stared at her
"I was suppose to be there".
"And then what, you get shot too!".
She practically yelled, I didnt get bothered by it though, I get what she meant.
"If I was there he wouldn't have gotten killed".
"Look, I'll get you cookies anyway okay".
Kaylah's words were irrelevant to me, all I did was think why wasn't I there. I thought over in over til it hit me. Kaylah stood in my face with a tray.
"I made peanut butter and choco--"
"You!!".
"Huh?".
"You, your the reason!".
"I'm the reason what?".
"If I had left here like I planned to he would still be alive!!".
"Lucky its not my fault! you can't be serious!".
"Yes! Yea I am, its your fault for begging me, I told you I needed to go but you constantly begged!!".
"If you wanted to leave that bad you would have but no you stayed!".
"I was so stupid to for listening!".
"Wow really is that what you feel!?"
"Yes!!".
"I just wanted you to be with me!"
"For fucking sex!!".
"Oh I'm sorry I thought you stayed for me!!".
"For you!?, you know damn well Kaylah I'm always here for you!".
"Not when your with those idiots you call friends!"
"And thanks to you one of them is now dead!!".
"Fuck you!".
By this time everything became silent and still. We were both in tears. I shook my head keeping in those last words that she said to me in walked out of her house not looking back.
I ran off towards James crib using the spare key he gave me, I got inside still crying, he noticed in stopped me.
"Ay waddup?".
"Nothing".
"Dude....".
"Ugh Kaylah and I had a fight".
"Why, aren't y'all the happy happy couple".
I shot him a shut up look.
"Man whatever, she the reason Isaiah is gone".
"For real!?".
James had a weird expression on his face and I don't blame him.
"I guess, look if I would of left her crib that night he wouldn't of went off to the bank".
"Well serves him right".
"What?".
"Im saying, he's better off in heaven than us always running around he didn't need to be around this life Lucky and you know it".
I pondered what he was saying.
"Uh yea I guess your right".
"Yea I am, with his parents being burnt to death who knew what would of happen just know I got u iight?".
I gave James a look in nodded.
He nodded in walked into the living room. I stared him down.
"The police never mentioned bodies in the fire".
