Same, But Different (A Fullmetal Alchemist fan-fic)

Everlasting Sins

Éclair

For some reason it just didn't settle in. I couldn't believe I just told Ed everything. I also honestly couldn't believe he told me his story as well. Here we were two slightly-broken (oh what am I saying? We're not slightly broken. We're severely damaged) kids just sitting there around a table and pouring out our deepest darkest secrets as if this is a silly game of "truth-or-dare" and nothing else. I for one thing never wanted to bring up such a vivid reminder of the past. It's not like I wanted to back in time or anything, it's seemed the same between the both of us: we wanted to earn back what we lost. We didn't want to just had it given to us. We had to earn it back, after all we didn't heed the warnings. The truth, life was the worst punishment. To live with the reality of mistakes.

I guess it gave us something to live for. Live to earn back what we lost. Trust. Ed's story was a bit different than mine, and when he shared his it was as if I was looking into my own life.

Gross, but hey, it's better than giving pity. We didn't want pity from the other. We just understood. We didn't feel bad for each other. We knew exactly why we did it, the motivation, the desire to move on; we knew empathy wasn't the answer. It was as if we were talking to ourselves and what we became. 

It was so much better than talking to my mind. 

"I'm sorry about your father." Ed finally told me after a long period of silence after his story, "How did you move on? You never did say."

I shrugged, "It wasn't a cakewalk, but you already knew that. Luckily my friend was a mechanic and hooked me up with a new arm and leg. Metal, of course, but it was better than nothing. There was some dude from central here for a while looking out for the town, and of course the Colonial came and gave me a sincere talking to." I cleared my throat before imitating a Mustang voice "'What were you thinking?! You are the second kid I had to talk to about this do you know what this is doing to your future? You've ruined not only your life but the lives of everyone around you blah blah blah tiny mini skirts'" I cleared my throat again, "After about six months of figuring out my new limits I moved on. I always had a weak left arm before since I fell out of a tree when I was five. I thought I at least got rid of my weakness. Guess I didn't, but I thought of it as an advantage. I covered up my arms and legs then. Gloves, long sleeves, I didn't want anyone knowing. Most people didn't know. They just been told the rumor 'I got seriously ill' and seriously believed it. That's why six months after I got into a battle with Zanner, this kid who lives here. He thought I was so weak that I couldn't do alchemy. It was a heated battle since he drew out all his alchemy circles and I didn't have time. I only had the ones I had etched into my gloves with a pen. I didn't have the one for wood etched in there, so I just clapped my hands and tried to fake him out. I had to press my hands together earlier just because I didn't have the same circles on each glove. I'd have to create a flow like I used to have to do. What I didn't expect was the alchemy to actually work. I thought it was a rebound or something. Turns out I was able to change a wooden picnic table into a nice wall and block Zanner from coming down on me and throw him off. Then I figured I didn't need to finish my earth circle and just ran for it, finally throwing him back into a barn. He was shocked. So was I. I was more out of breath from actually seeing what I was now capable of. It made sense, what I was now capable of now that I knew the truth, yet at the same time I just took off running. I was scared. So I realized I had to use my new capabilities for something, and I wanted to see what I could do to earn Trevor's trust back. So what I did was do exactly what the Colonial told me to do. Become a state alchemist. And so I did. Took the exam, gave the further a bit of a glare while he glared back at me as if I was interesting to him. They said Fullmetal Alchemist was some other kid, but Halfmetal was just as intimidating. I thought 'whatever I just gotta live in this kid's shadow, soon enough they'll learn I'm not gonna be stuck in someone's shadow' and then I started my research. Xing sounded like a nice place to start, so I headed there. I learned the purification arts, thinking I could just heal myself back to health, but even that wasn't that promising. I lost my arm. I literally lost it. It wasn't coming back and I don't want anyone else's arm. I'd have to give up something else for it, just like I gave up my leg for Trevor's arm. I exchanged that, but mine's now gone and I won't accept anyone else's back so don't get ideas."