Same, But Different (A Fullmetal Alchemist fan-fic)

Little White Lies of the Past (Trevor's Secret)

Éclair

As we began to walk back to Trevor's place, the rain began to let up. It was no longer pouring, it was more of just a light rainy drizzle now. 

We however were still super wet. Gross. I didn't like the sound of sloshing through puddles and mud getting everywhere. But don't get me wrong, being perfectly clean is not what I like. I just don't like mud. It sticks and clumps and then starts to smell. 

"I'm soggy. This is gross." I commented. "I have to fight these random guys that are for some reason after me too. That's gross."

Ed raised an eyebrow, "what in your past are you hiding?"

I just shrugged, "If I knew I'd tell you. Honestly it's like talking to the actual male version of myself. Not the 'hey look Éclair acts and dresses like a man the way she likes to fight the villains and be the hero' or anything else stupid like that. I've been in Xing for a long while too. I just arrived back in central about a week ago. Then when I was in town I ran into that one man who was after me as well..." I stopped to think, "You think that guy was after me too? Is that why the Colonial put us together, was he trying to protect me? You think he knows about this?"

"There's a higher chance the two events are unrelated."

"You're right there, but still I wonder if something is going on. Why would they want me anyway? I've been living in your shadow for years and haven't even been around. Before I became a state alchemist I hardly left this town, and if I did it was only to the other small mountain villages. I'm not even that well known so how do they all know me? I'm only well known in these villages unless they know me as The Halfmetal Alchemist from outside. Not that many people from the villages know I am the Halfmetal Alchemist. They thought I went to central for a job to support myself, that's it."

Ed gave me a look, "you adventured out there into that big city by yourself?'

I nodded, "Until now I've been convinced the road that I travel is a narrow, winding path. And it's a road I must travel alone. Everything I do: every sin, every good deed, every insignificant breath I take is etched into my mind and in my past. I've gotta live with it. No one else does. I've gotta carry all this with me and continue on to the road that's ahead of me until I can make up for the ultimate taboo that I've done."

"Alone...you didn't tell the Colonial that Trevor helped you with it, did you?"

"Helped me with with what?"

"Human transmutation." Ed blocked my path now with his arms crossed, "You said you did it yourself when in reality you had him helping you because you were scared of a rebound."

I lost my stance for a moment as I could feel my eyes shrink in fear. A cold chill ran down my spine. This was the one secret I meant to left kept in the back of my mind. No one could know. That's the way Trevor wanted it. He didn't want anything to do with alchemy. He never did.

It took me a moment to answer while the rain started to pour again, "Yes. I took credit for it all." I swallowed painfully before I continued, the fear and the memories of that fateful night once again flooding my mind. It was a flashbulb memory, stained permanently within me to recall at only the worst of times. "He told me the truth took his left arm because he was helping me create these sins, he was helping others with his hands by being a mechanic. Being a mechanic was his only pride and that day I took that away from him! I could see it in his eyes I was about to ruin his life! He only asked the truth for the knowledge so he could help people because that's what his family did best. They helped people. They took me in when I had no other home. Trevor gave into the pressure to join me and by doing that I ruined his life. I regretted every day since then that I did this, until I finally met the Colonial and I learned to put the past in the past in move on into the future where I'll try to earn back Trevor's trust."