Jemi Short Stories ❤

You don't do it for me anymore 4

"What have I done, Joseph?" I repeat a little more sternly, while staring at him with my threatening eyes. He clears his throat, clearly unconfortable, but still avoids my look like I'm some kind of deadly disease. "I did something embarassing, didn't I?" I groan, letting out a heavy sigh. "Whatever it is, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he cuts me off, finally locking eyes with me. "You were not in the right state of mind, so it doesn't matter. In brief, you tried to..." He stops himself, scratching nervously his neck like he wants to occupy his hands, and goes back to the silent treatment.

"For fuck's sake, Joe! Just tell me what I have tried to do! It can't be that bad, right?" I inquire, my heart beating a little bit faster. What if I tried to kiss him, oh my god? That would be my death. I'd rather die than admit that he's handsome.

"You tried to sleep with me," he mumbled under her breath, praying that I wouldn't hear him.

"What?!" I roar, my eyes menacing to bulge out from my head. "Pardon me, but what?!" I squeak again with my raspy voice, while he moves away a little on the bed.

"Well... I was simply taking your advice and trying to find some decent girl at the bar, but I found you there accepting to sell your body to a married man just for some alcohol that you couldn't pay by yourself. I basically dragged you out of it, and you started kissing me and tempting me into... a hook-up or whatever. You were quite intense." He avoids my incredulous look, a nervous smile on his lips. 

"I can't believe I did this..." I mumble to myself, trying to clear my thoughts and memories of the last hours. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Joseph. I didn't mean to- to assault you, or whatever." He faintly nods, and we stare at each other awkwardly for what seems like minutes. 

"Well..." He clears his throat, standing up. "I'll let you take a nap, and if you need anything, just call my name. I'll be right next door." He looks at me one last time, a little hesitant, but I reassure him with a nod. He then smiles and leaves the room.

I sigh deeply, taking the Tylenol and hoping my headache would soon disappear. I peer down at the food, and I can't help but feel like a burden. I was a burden to my mom, I was a burden to Selena, and now... I'm a burden to Joe. He doesn't deserve to be stuck with someone like me. I put the plate of food aside, and slip out of the confortable bed. I have nothing, absolutely nothing...

I look out of the window, my heart tight in a knot. I watch the random persons come and go, some in a hurry, some taking all of their time. A pregnant woman with her boyfriend, a businessman with his perfect tie and suit, a group of high-schoolers gossiping, a curious tourist strolling around the city, an old man taking his grand-daughter by the hand...

Where are they going? I wonder, but I already know part of the answer. They all have a home. They all have a family, friends... I watch them trying to get through their daily routine, and I feel so envious. Why can't I be like them? Why can't I also have a chance in life? I want to be walking down the busy streets of Canada with somewhere in mind to go, with a precise goal. But no, all I do is to wander around with no more purpose than to get drunk and forget about my hectic life.