Once Doesn't Mean Always (Straight Furry Story)

11: Touchy Subjects

Smoke

I walk through my front door, dropping my bag  before holding out my arms, unsurprisingly, Sandra rushes to hug me the moment I walk through the door. We both wrap our arms around each other and hold for a few seconds before we break apart, Sandra looks at me with a warm smile

"you seem a little happier today" she says, clearly talking about the fact that I hugged back for once. I give off a small laugh

"well, I guess today was actually a good day" I say as I pick my bag up  

"that's great, sit down and tell me what happened" she said moving to the kitchen, I instead walk up a few steps before quickly informing the happy she-wolf

"hold on, I'll put my stuff away and get changed first then I'll be right with you".

I walk up the stairs and into my room, throw my bag into a corner and take off my leather jacket, school shirt and pants, replacing them with a pair of slightly faded, black jeans and a pure white V neck shirt before putting my jacket back on and walking out and go downstairs. As I walk into the kitchen, I see Sandra sitting at the table and I immediately sit across from her as she sits smiling at me

"so" she says breaking the silence

"so, what?" I ask in confusion, she laughs a little

"oh, come one, you knew I was going to make you tell me everything" I roll my eyes but keep a smile and begin

"well, it's just been a good day, even I occasionally have them" I say, attempting to convince her that nothing much happened. Sandra gets up and gives a minor sigh of disappointment while holding her grin

"ok then, don't tell me, but I will find out one way or another" she says, chuckling a little "feel like Spaghetti Bolognese tonight?" she asks as she fills a saucepan with water

"sure" I say, holding my positivity until something crosses my mind.

"How did the hunt go?" I ask, Sandra immediately changes from happy and joyful to saddened and disappointed before she looks at me as she turns on a stove hot plate sitting below the saucepan of water.

"Well" she says dropping her ears and looking to the floor "still can't find anything" it really kills me to see Sandra like this, I usually don't trust people that are always happy and smiling, but Sandra is different, she was always honest and tried to make things work, she always tried to look after me and tried to cheer me up, even if it almost never works, I was always grateful to her for at least trying.

"Hey, it's ok, I'm sure something will come up" I say trying to comfort her.

Sandra looks back up at me and smiles

"well, this is different" she says as she lets go a small laugh "I'm just getting a little tired from all these rejections" she says. She walks to the pantry, grabbing a pack of pasta and putting half of the pack into the now boiling water and watching over with a spaghetti server, mixing the pasta around to keep it from sticking.

"I'll call you down when dinner is ready" she says, sounding a little closer to her happy self, I give a slight nod and walk back to my room.

While I wait for dinner, I get my laptop and open YouTube as I pull out the list of songs and search for them, starting with 'The Good Left Undone'. I open a lyric music video of it and lay on my bed listening and loving it as soon as it starts playing. I cross each song off the list after I hear it until hearing a call as I reach about halfway through said list. 

"Smoke, dinner's ready" Sandra calls, making me get up and pause the current song before I make my way downstairs to get to dinner. I sit in the same spot as earlier and begin to eat my dinner

"did you meet a girl?" I hear, I instantly look at Sandra, blushing as she gives a small grin. I swallow my food before I think of a way to respond

"well, there was a new girl at school today, but that's all" I answer, trying to end the talk as I eat another fork full of spaghetti. Sandra gives a cheeky little and does the same.

"She's only a friend, nothing more" I say before thinking about earlier, Sandra looks back up at me, still eating

"we both know I won't find anyone, I'm just bad news" I add, changing the direction of the subject and my voice back to my usual flat, depressed speech pattern.

Sandra simply sucks up some spaghetti that was dangling from her mouth and clears her mouth before protesting

"Smoke, you're not that kid anymore, Marcus and Zoey aren't in control of your life anymore, they aren't making you do anything, you understand right from wrong and you know how to handle things in your own way, I know you will find someone who would care for you more then I ever can" she says, I clench my fingers to turn my paws into fists, a movement that Sandra notices

"sorry, I shouldn't of mentioned those names" she apologises feeling sorry. I loosen up a little as I look to her

"once a trouble maker, always a trouble maker" I say, gaining her attention again and making her look me straight in the eyes

"Smoke, I wanna tell you something a friend of mine told me a long time ago, believe it or not, I was a lot like you and I felt like I couldn't change, at least until he told me 'once doesn't mean always' "she says, I look in confusion before she continues "it means that just because you were once a bad kid, it doesn't mean you still are, you have changed so much, you have come so far and the only one who isn't seeing that is you" she says before eating her last mouthful of her dinner. I prepare to get up before getting stopped

"don't worry about washing, I'll do it tonight" she says, I nod and finished my food in silence.

After I finished my dinner, I put my bowl in the sink and went up to my room, saying good night to Sandra and brushing my teeth beforehand. I enter my room, I taking my jacket and shirt off and stand in front of the mirror, my 'X' scar was covered by my fur a little more than usual. my winter coat must be growing I think as I move the fur out the way so I can get a proper view of the self scar.

I stare at it for almost half an hour before I take my pants off move over to my bed, turning off my laptop then my light and start to just lay in silence, trying to get to sleep. Those assholes, I never want to hear their names again I think as I look back to when Sandra said those 2 names. I stare at my roof for over an hour and a half before I slowly doze off to sleep.