Once Doesn't Mean Always (Straight Furry Story)

21: Opening Up

Smoke

8th of May, 2014

I sit with head on paws as I lookout out the car window, watching the world rush by as Sandra drives me to an early therapy appointment.
"Cheer up, Smokey" Sandra says, cheery as usual "they're being kind enough to get this out of the way so you can enjoy your birthday" I roll my eyes as she finishes. I turn to her as we park in the medical centre's car park
"I know but you know I hate therapy, all Ms Amber does is just ask me questions, put on a fake smile and pretend to care, and besides, 7:30? I might as well be going to school today if I can't sleep in" I say as I undo my seat belt.

As I prepare to open the door, it locks. I look to Sandra as she looks to me with concern

"Smoke, we both know that she does care, was it this hard for you to accept that when you started dating Cloudy?" she asks. I prepare to say something but I stop, realising that she may be right as I look down for a moment "tell you what, after, I'll take you to work and you can help me out, Alen would love to finally meet you and you can help set up for your party too" she says, trying to cheer me up a little. I look back up at her as she smiles, I just smile a little and nod in agreement

" how can I refuse? besides, I guess I could help other a little more" I say with confidence before we both exit the car.

We make our way through the front door, I splinter off and go straight for an empty chair in the waiting area while Sandra goes to the receptionist. Moments later, Sandra sits next to me
"I gotta head off for something, I'll be back before the end of your appointment" she says, I nod before receiving a kiss on my forehead "remember, this is your last appointment, so make the most of it" she adds before getting up and leaving the building. Minutes later, I hear my name get called out by a young, blue tigress with black stripes, Ms Amber.

I get up out my seat and walk with her through some doors besides the reception, following down a hallway until we finally turn into a small room that only houses a few chairs and a table.

As I sit down, Ms Amber closes the door and gets a pen, a clip board and some paper clipped to it.
"Hello Wolfy" she says with her gentle and playful voice as she sits down opposite to me, she likes to call me Wolfy a lot of the time, I honestly don't really care what she calls me.

"So, how is your birthday going so far?" She asks, I simply keep a straight face and reply

"it's ok, just an ordinary day so far, no presents till later" I say, flat as usual.

Ms Amber giggles a little

"well that's because you have a party later, so that's why we're doing this now instead of later". Ms Amber focuses on the board she holds for a moment before looking back to me "Smoke, you know I'm here to help right" she says, I sit up straight as she continues "but for these appointments, you don't really seem to be sharing enough, I can't help if you don't tell me, let me in" she says, toning down her happy mood.

I look to the floor for a moment "I took on this job to help those who needed guidance, not for the money, just so I can see kids with smiles instead of scars or masks, I know how you feel about these appointments but I swear, I care, Smoke, I really do, so please let me help" Ms Amber begs, sounding extremely sincere. I give a sigh before I begin talking

"well, you already know about the abuse and the scar over my chest, but you never heard the complete story of what happened after" I say, showing the sadness I have kept inside this whole time. Ms Amber notices my feelings

"Easy Wolfy, ease into it, remember, I just need to know the basic details, not the worst parts" she reassures as I to think of how to word what happened back then

"that night, after the abuse, a kid picked on me, constantly called me weak, kept calling me a pussy and that I was just a coward like Marcus" I swiftly get interrupted

"your father?" Ms Amber asks, I burn up with rage and quickly turn my gaze to her 

"that basterd is ANY thing but, he's just some prick that wanted to blame his problems on someone who would never fight back" I growl.

I calm myself as I hear my name called, I see, Ms Amber, fear showing in her eyes

"sorry" I say, dropping my ears and placing my view to the floor. I feel something on my shoulder "it's ok Wolfy, I'm sorry, I shouldn't of said that, please, continue but ... just rememeber that I'm here" she says as she holds her paw on my shoulder, reaching across the small table. I take a deep breath before continuing after Ms Amber's paw withdraws

"well, after that ... I hurt him" I say "I hurt him bad, got expelled and taken in by the police, they saw what I done, the damage, the pain, it was then that I was put through many different families then finally ... Sandra" I finished, holding back tears

"do you regret any of it" Ms Amber asked as she finishes writing down some info.

"I ask myself that everyday, but from then on ..." Ms Amber just puts down her notes and stands up, walks around the table to get to me then crouches and wraps her arms around me.

"Your not a bad kid, you just ... you weren't raised right" she says as she holds me tight, emotion projecting strong emotion "just because some people didn't accept you or mistreated you, it doesn't mean that everyone is like that, your friends, that girlfriend you told me about" I cut her off as a thought pops into my head.

"Cloudy" I say

"yeah, they all see the best in you, that's why Sandra took you in, she knew you would be a good kid if you just had someone to care for you, guide you and show you that everything will be ok" Ms Amber added, showing her care.

Something feels a little different, the fur under my eyes feel soaked, I brush the fur under my eyes to see that I had let a few tears go. Ms Amber breaks the hug before making her way back to her seat, rubbing her damp eyes, clearly, she cried a little too.

"Well, times nearly up, sorry Wolfy" she says as she pushes herself back to her usual happy state "any thing you wanna say before we wrap this up? " she asks. I gently shake my head 

"thank you ... for everything and mostly ... for not giving up on me" I say, drying my eyes and smiling.

"There we go" Ms Amber says, sounding a little more happy.

I look with confusion

"there's that smile that makes my day worth it" she adds before we both laughed "you know, you were the worst case I have had, but I think you will be just fine now, just as long as you keep those who you love and who love you close, don't give up on them" she encourages. I nod before she adds "also, I'll keep contact with Sandra to check up on you and hear how you progress" she says.

"You know ... I'd like that, thank you, Ms Amber" I say before a beeping noise starts to sound, a timer  clipped to the clip board is clearly the source. I say my goodbyes to Ms Amber and leave the room, for once, happy after an appointment.

I walk out to the reception and see Sandra standing in the middle of the room

"well?" She asks

"I'm ok, thank you for arranging this earlier rather then later" I say as I hug my closest thing to a mothering figure.

"Good, then let's get going, to work!" she says as she breaks off the hug, we both chuckle as we leave the building and begin to drive away.