14: The Broken Ice

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Smoke


After School


From the first lesson, the day went on normally, however Cloudy was a little different. The fox seemed distracted when I tried to talk to her, even in Math, our last class for the day. We take our steps off our bus and begin to walk down our street.

As we walk, we near Cloudy stops and turns to me before we reach her house
"Smoke, do you like me?" she asks, looking a little down. I scratch the back of my head before answering
"didn't we already go over this a couple weeks ago? I wouldn't be talking to you if I didn't". She nods before looking me directly in the eyes, helping me understand what she actually means
"I mean ... do you ... have feelings for me?" she asks, clearly choking on the question.

My heart beats faster than it ever has before, but I keep my composure and remain calm
"look ... Cloudy I-" she looks away before I can properly answer. She probably thinks that I'm saying no I think before taking a couple steps toward her, standing right in front of her and giving a comforting hug, just once ... just this once, I'll open myself up to you a little.
"Cloudy, I just ... I don't know what to say" I let her go and she looks me in the eyes once again "I just, its ... I never had ..." I struggle to form a basic sentence, before I try again, I feel something pressed over my lips, I see Cloudy kissing me.

Though I stand shocked, I don't try to break free, instead, I merely relax and embrace the feeling, holding Cloudy in the kiss until she breaks it off a few moments later.
"I'm sorry" she says as she tries to leave, I keep hold of her arm and pull her back to me moments later. We stand together, hugging, her head rests on my chest as I hold my lower jaw gently on top of her head.

"Cloudy, I ... I just don't want to hurt you, are you sure this is what you want?" I ask, breaking away from my usual 'tough guy' persona. Cloudy looks up to me and stares into my eyes once more
"Smoke, you are the only guy I have ever had these feelings for, that's all I need to say yes, this is what I want" she says innocently. I sigh and hold her tighter
"there are things about me that will maybe change that" I confess, sounding ashamed, and it's true that I really am.

Immediately after, she pushes herself away
"so tell me, please, let me in, tell me who you really are" she says, the look she was gives, a mix of pure desperation, content and care, a look I had seen all too often from Sandra. I get out my phone to check the time, 3:20 PM. I put my phone away and look back to Cloudy
"how much time do you have?" I aske her, she checks her phone
"I'm allowed out till 6, but as long as I'm right in front of my house, mom probably won't have any problems" she says.

I sit down and motion for her to do the same, which she does. Cloudy leans on me as I think about where to begin and how to word my story, until I know exactly where to start.

OK, I am going to give you a massive warning now, THERE WILL BE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SELF HARM IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, you have been warned so read at your own risk.

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