Once Doesn't Mean Always (Straight Furry Story)

26: Unsatisfying Aftermath

Smoke

I storm out the building to find Cloudy standing outside the front door, however I continue without stopping.

"So, how'd it go" she asks with minor worry, I ignore her question and continue "Smoke?" she tries to get my attention. She runs out in front of me and stops

"Smoke, if something's wrong, please let me help" she begs.

I feel myself about to explode with anger

"you think you can help me with this?!" I yell "seeing one of the people who fucked up my life before it even began? Listen to their bullshit about wanting things to apologise? This isn't something you can help with, you don't know anything about this, you don't know anything about me!" I unleash all my anger. I see her trying her hardest to fight back tears, I realise everything I had just said and I begin to break down, I cry harder than I ever have

"I had lived with this pain for so long, and there was never any reason for it, I just" I sob before I just collapse on the ground and curl into the fetal position. Cloudy cries a little and sits down, putting my head in her lap and starts to stroke my head as we both week in the parking area of the prison.

"I just wish I wasn't born the way that I was, I was so scared, I can't even look at myself in the mirror without seeing someone else, something else, I just want those years to go away, I just want my life ... OUR life to be perfect" I say, sobbing on Cloudy's lap, she continues to cry for a long few moments before sitting me up and pressing her forehead against mine.

"Listen to me, Smoke" she says as tears soaked her beautiful white fur

"I may not fully understand, but, damn it, I will try, the past can't be changed, but you can learn from it, I love you too much to just sit by and let you talk like this, I know you well enough to know that you, we will make it through this, I promise you, if there's something bothering you, I will work with you to beat it, we are in this together, you understand? I love you for who you are, you're past makes you who you are, and if you having a different past makes you anyone else then who you are now, then I don't want you to have a different past because you're perfect to me as you are" she says, trying to remain strong, I nod a little and try to dry my eyes. She grabs my face and presses a kiss on my lips before wrapping me in a massive hug

"Smoke?" she says, keeping me locked in her hug,

"yeah?" I ask, squeezing her in my arms

"Don't ever let me go" she said, I take a breath before replying

"never".