Lauren p.o.v
I looked at the ring on my finger. A sigh left my mouth as layer back in the seat and stared out the window watching everything past by. I played with the ring on my finger biting my lip.
It really has been a year. A year since I last seen my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. Going back and forth on tour while dating is extremely hard. We've lasted a year and to say I'm surprised that our relationship lasted that long.
I really do miss her. I miss talking to her. I would kill to hear her voice again. I heard that today she was having a celebration of becoming a sophomore in college. I'm very proud of her. Proud that she didn't just drop everything when things got too hard. I'm proud that she cares about her education. I'm not proud of myself for not being there to celebrate with her.
I wish I would've shown her off to the world. And kissed her in front of everyone. And brag about how beautiful she is. But I was too ashamed to About her.
I wasn't embarrassed to tell the world that I was dating her. I was embarrassed because I grew up to be someone that I'm not proud of.
From countless fights with parents about my sexuality and the fear that everyone around me knew who I really was. Back then I wasn't proud to be a bisexual girl. I wasn't proud at all.
But I also wasn't proud acting like someone I wasn't. But y/n she changed that.
I got more confident day by day with her by my side. She stayed by my side through a lot. And even though I wasn't proud of who I am. I know one thing that I was proud that I picked her to love me. To hold me, to care for me, to be there for me.
Y/n wasn't just my diary. She wasn't just my girlfriend, she wasn't just the love of my life. Y/n was my home.
When I'm around her I feel at home. And now I feel homeless. I feel homesick.
And nothing can cure that. Nothing can make me feel better. She's the only one who can fix me and my mind. She's the only one who could make me feel at home
This ring that I have on my finger is the same time exact ring that she gave me on my birthday. I never took it off. I could never drive myself to do so. This is the only piece of her I have.
I wish I was home with her. I want to see her face. I want to wrap my arms around her. I want to apologize to her for only caring about myself.
She deserves to know everything. Everything that went on in my head.
I'm going to tell her. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, or next week, or next month. But she will know.
I grabbed my phone from my pocket.
And went to my notes.
One thing that I learned from her was to write about how I feel.
And the only thing I could type was something that she deserves to know.
I went to our messages. Praying to myself that she still had the same number.
Lauren: I wish I was there with you.