A tear fell from my eye as I placed the headphones down. I leaned back in my chair and took a breath trying to contain the tears that I was attempting to fall out.
Hannah died. She gave me so many hints, and I ignored them all. I'm the main reason why she died. I could have stopped her.
I wonder who all heard the tapes, am I the first one to hear them? Can I stop anyone else from hearing them?
If this gets out, my reputation will be ruined. I'll be known as the girl who didn't care about her best friend. The girl who dated a rapist, the girl who laughed at Hannah Baker.
I quickly stood up and grabbed my jacket. I walked outside and down the street. I held the box filled with all the tapes to my chest.
It was about 9 pm an night. The street lights were on, my parents were too busy arguing about money they didn't see me sneak out.
"Hey y/n!" I looked over to see Clay. My eyes widen. Deciding to play it cool I smiled at him. "Hi, clay!" I waved. He rode his bike to me, my arms tightened around the box.
I heard his tape.
I always admired him. I always thought him and Hannah would be so cute together.
I wonder if he knows about the tapes?
"What you doing out here so late?" He asked. "Oh, I'm just going for a stroll. I'm a cheerleader so you know cardio is good for me" I nervously chuckle.
We stood there awkwardly.
We used to be so close back in middle school we were like best friends, but once we got to high school we kind of split ways.
He looks down at the box "I'm guessing I'm stopping you from doing something?" I nodded. "Uh, yeah. I have to also drop something off at a friends house" he nods "well I'll see you in school Monday"
"Yeah...see you" I watched as he petal away. I quickly took off down the sidewalk, I didn't know where I was going but I had to get rid of these tapes.
I didn't stop running. No matter how tired I got I didn't stop running. I ran past a house. The garage door was open. I notice tony sitting next to his car with a tool in his hand. We made eye contact for a split second. I kept running.
Not even 5 minutes later a car was right behind me. I could tell because of the lights. I looked to my left as the car slow down behind me.
It was tony. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Going for a run" I lied. "A run? You're running with a box of tapes?" I stopped in my tracks. "How do you know about the tapes?" I asked in between breaths. "Hannah gave them to me to deliver to everyone else. So whatever you're planning on doing with those tapes y/n don't do it...get in the car"
I continued to walk. "Get in the car y/n" he repeats himself. I didn't listen. "Y/n if I have too, I will get out and carry you"
"Get in the damn car!" He raised his voice I stopped. "Come on" letting out a sigh I walked over to the car and got in.
I let go of the tapes. They fell on my lap. "Who all heard the tapes?" I asked "Justin, Zach, Jessica, Alex, Tyler, almost everyone you heard on the tapes"
"What about clay?" I asked he shook his head. "He can't hear these....it'll break his heart. And he will hate me"
"You don't think he should know?" Tony asked me stopping a red light. "I'm a terrible person," I said ignoring his question. I put my face in my hands and cried.
I'm guessing Tony had pulled over. Because I felt the car move and then it cut off. He places a hand on my back.
As I sobbed. "I didn't mean to yell at her that night! I-I didn't know she was struggling"
"I know you didn't"
"Please don't give him the tapes" he wipes the tears off my face. "You know, I feel just as terrible then you"
I sniffed "how so?" I asked. "Because she gave me the tapes and told me not to listen until a certain date. I promised her I wouldn't. I wish I would have broken my promise....maybe she'd still be here"
"Yeah maybe"
After Tony and I talked he dropped me off back home.
The weekend went by fast. I was dreading going back to school. I now know why everyone was staring at me all week. Those stupid, stupid tapes.
I stood outside the building. Taking a breath walked up the steps into the school. I made eye contact with Jessica and Alex they stared at me leaning against their lockers. I quickly looked away and walked to my lockers.
"HEY! STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I stopped in my tracks watching clay yell at some girl. "I'm sorry! The locker won't open!"
Her hands were on Hannah locker. Which was right next to mines.
How could they just give her locker away so quickly? Clay looked around, everyone was staring at him. He quickly walked away. I walked over to my locker.
"Let me help you" I spoke the girl turned to me. She had the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. She backs away from me giving me room.
"This locker was always hard to open. All you have to do is lift it up a little." I ask for her code. I lift the knob a little and twisted the numbers. "And then you hit it" she chuckles as I hit the locker which made the locker open.
"Wow, they gave me the bad locker" I stared at her blankly. I can't really get mad at her. Hannah and I use to joke about the dumb locker all the time.
"My name Lauren" she extended her hand out. I slowly shake it "y/n"
"You must be new around here?" I asked "yeah I recently just moved from Miami 2 weeks ago" the bell rings.
"Do you know where your classes are at?" I asked. She shakes her head. "No"
"I'll help you" She hands me her schedule. I nodded "you have art...it's right down the hall follow me" she slams the locker.
I stared down at the paper. "You have the next 3 classes with me. Find me during lunch" I told her she nods. Once we made it to her class she thanked me and went inside.
I slowly walked down the hall, not wanting to go to my next class, almost every one was in that class.
Once I got there I slowly walked in. "Y/n do you have a pass?" The teacher asked. "No" I spoke walking to my seat.
I sat next to Jessica.
Class started. I ignored everyone stares. "Did you listen to tapes?" Jessica finally speaks I looked over at her "yeah"
"We all came up with a deal. Act like everything is normal. Do not talk about it to anyone. We can't let anyone know about these tapes"
"Oh, I wasn't going too"...
